


Awkward

by hsilence



Series: Awkward [1]
Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-11-15 18:26:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11236683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hsilence/pseuds/hsilence
Summary: Faker is the most awkward person Peanut has ever met. But he still pines for him anyways.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was a completely “on a whim” fiction. I follow SKT, especially Faker, almost religiously but sadly I’m not very knowledgeable on Faker’s or any of the members’ careers before 2015 T^T So forgive me if there are certain errors calculating their age or points in their careers. Also know that I’ve stated their age according to the Korean system (meaning that they get gain a year at the start of every year and not on their birthdays).

Peanut was 16 when Faker debuted with his famous game against Ambition. He was barely a trainee then, just working his way up the solo que ladder, devoutly watching every LCK matches. Even before the match aired, there was big talk going around about Faker the prodigy joining the SKT line up. And despite SKT’s lack of fame and popularity at the time, Faker himself was hyped up as much as he could be and anybody who played solo que knew that the hype was well-deserved. Peanut watched the game at his home, awestruck and enraptured as Faker got his first kill of his pro-career under the turret on Ambition. After the 30-minute game, Peanut went back to his solo que account and played until the sun came up again.

∞∞∞

Peanut watched as SKT’s acclaim rose along with Faker’s the winter of 2013 and 2014. He watched every single match, rewound time and time again to scrutinize Faker’s plays and Bengi’s impeccable coordination with him. He became obsessed and spent all his hours out of school playing games after games as a jungle main trying to emulate Bengi’s playstyle. His admiration for the said jungler was mixed with a one-sided rivalry he did not realize he had back then. Before he realized it, he graduated middle school and was recruited into Najin. This was at the end of 2014 when SKT was in a deep slump and Peanut didn’t dare to seek out Faker behind the scenes (because, although he still refuses to admit it, he was a fanboy to his core).

∞∞∞

It was around 2015 Spring season that he found himself watching Faker’s every move not only on the summoner’s rift but on camera. He watched as he relayed sharp commands to his teammates during a play, watched him smile ruefully when he overestimated his own attack damage, and smiled along with Faker after an end of a good game. He watched him as he interacted with his teammates when they are setting up before a game or packing up after. He observed him as he received feedbacks from Marin, made Bang and Wolf groan with his infamous dad jokes, and watched with a pang of unexplained uneasiness when he smiled at Bengi.

∞∞∞

It was almost inevitable running into Faker behind stages. And not being the main jungler for Najin, he spent a lot of his time behind stages. It was during the 2015 Spring season that he first came face to face with the world-famous midlaner and, god-forbid, was one of the most awkward and humiliating experience he had to date. He was feeling letdown at having to sit behind once again and walked into the bathroom in a distracted state to say the least. He leaned into the bathroom mirror observing every nook and cranny of his face before letting out a big sigh and slapping his cheeks with both hands. “Wangho! This is just the start dammit, so suck it up and try harder! You got this!” he said to himself the overly stereotypical and practiced motivational speech and just as he gave his reflection a pumped up smile, he noticed another reflection in the mirror that was not his own and his heart dropped to his stomach. It took him a second to take in the red jacket and a bemused face behind thick framed glasses before their eyes met. And he could’ve sworn at that moment that all the gods were against him and they wanted him to crawl into a hole and never see the light of day again. He whirled around, instinctively trying to defend himself but no words came out and he just stood there, his mouth slightly open with an unprecedented e-sports icon staring awkwardly back at him. After a moment of silence (it felt like hours), he barely managed to collected himself, gave a quick bow and shuffled out of the bathroom, consciously having to hold in a groan at his own idiocy. When he came out of Faker’s earshot, he couldn’t help but cry out and jump with embarrassment, not paying any mind to passerby’s startled stares. This lasted a while until Duke found him crouching by the wall, with his face buried in his arms trying to erase the last 30 minutes from his memories.

∞∞∞

About 8 months following the incident, he watched on his computer screen as Faker and SKT once again seized first place in Worlds. He could no longer just watch with unfiltered admiration and there was a nagging sensation of envy and want at a shot at where SKT was. But he still couldn’t help but smile and feel his heart squeeze inexplicably as he watched Faker’s face full of glee. He was signed into ROX the following year and call it his sixth sense but he had a good feeling about 2016.

∞∞∞

Thankfully, Faker didn’t seem to remember, or at least had the courtesy to pretend that he has forgotten, the first time he met Peanut. Being with Pray and Gorilla meant that he had a lot more opportunities to meet SKT members, especially Bang and Wolf. As the Spring season went by, he managed to befriend them and he ran into Faker countless times although the interaction went no further than polite greetings. Still, he was able to stop looking at Faker as a star-struck trainee and more as a respectable fellow player (but who was he kidding, he was still a fanboy at heart).

∞∞∞

When an opportunity came across to talk to Bengi, Peanut grabbed it without hesitation. As favorable as coincidences can get, Bengi and Peanut were chosen by their respectable teams to fetch their Starbucks order during a match day in Spring season. They walked to the nearby Starbucks together, passing time with small-talk and when they waited for their orders to come out, Peanut managed to scrape up the courage to ask Bengi about Faker.

“Uh-oh, are you a Faker fanboy as well?” Bengi teased good-naturedly as Peanut spluttered his defense.

“Who isn’t when they’re just another solo-que player?!”

“Alright, alright, I kid. What do you want to know?” Bengi placated him and settled his chin on his hand.

“Just…How is it like playing with him? You must know everything about his playstyle, you are always so in synch,” he asked, careful of his wordings for unknown reasons.

“Hmm…I suppose. There’s honestly nothing special about it. I offer him all the information I can give and he calls me over when he needs to.”

“Ah..um, are you guys only in sync during the game? Do you guys get along as well outside the games?” he asked, avoiding Bengi’s gaze, feeling ashamed at voicing what could be a personal question.

“Personality wise, we aren’t really the types to be best friends, contrary to what most people think” Bengi replied with a strange smile on his face.

“But-“ Peanut was cut off by the baristas calling their names and he took the drinks and walked back with disappointment, unasked and unanswered questions filling his head.

∞∞∞

Their defeat at Spring finals was devastating. He was so close for the first time in his career to winning something real and it was taken away from them, kill by kill and turret by turret. He tried not to show it because he knew his senior teammates had more of a reason to have wanted to defeat SKT. He watched through his fingers as SKT took the trophy for the umpteenth time, barely feeling Smeb’s comforting hand on his shoulder. He studied Faker’s joyful expressions and he felt something twist in his chest, making him feel hollower than just seconds before.

∞∞∞

The biggest stage that they met on was the 2016 World semifinals. It was the biggest stage he has yet been on but his excitement was a step ahead of his nerves. After the playoffs draws, he was trying to find his way back to his team’s waiting room after capriciously exploring the backstage area when he ran into Faker. By this point in time, he was very practiced at giving him a polite smile and a bow and walking by without a hitch. But perhaps, gods decided that it’s been too long since they been cruel to him and it was at this moment that his shoelaces decided to come undone. This resulted in him stepping on it and tripping unceremoniously just as he was about to bow, his arms flailing about to stop his impending fall. What he grabbed onto was (surprise, surprise) was none other than Faker’s arms who also grabbed onto his elbow to prevent his fall. He was dumfound at his (lack of) luck for a moment and was startled out of his stupor by a hesitant: “Hey, you okay?”

He quickly righted himself, pushing away from Faker’s arms. “Uh, yeah, yes, I’m ok. Sorry about that…” he replied in polite speech and saw from beneath his eyelashes Faker giving an uncertain nod. They walked on in awkward silence and when he found the ROX Tiger’s waiting room, he bid his farewell without looking up at Faker’s face and quickly closed the door behind him. Ignoring his teammates questions and hellos, he face-planted himself onto the couch, cursing his damnable luck. (He tried to ignore the fact that his heart was beating madly at hearing Faker’s voice that was directed at him for the first time ever.)

∞∞∞

He didn’t remember much of what happened after their loss at semifinals. Perhaps it was a way of his brain shutting down bad memories but it was mostly a blur with pangs of anguish and remorse. He couldn’t bear to watch the finals and avoided meeting any SKT members at all cost before leaving the States. Soon after All-Stars 2016, his ROX coach asked him why he signed up with SKT. He shrugged and replied, “I want to win”.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for the sudden and probably awkward changes to the player’s real name. I always meant to use their real names as they get more acquainted with each other in the story line but I don’t think it was as smooth as I wanted it. There are so many things these players say that is unique to them (especially Bang lol) that I want to incorporate into the story but sadly…there are no direct translations and they get lost in the English language (especially because they are mostly slang terms). 
> 
> Additionally, every information about the SKT gaming house is false, just my own assumptions. But it is a real place, it’s where I stay half the time I’m in Korea :’).

The SKT gaming house was based in Il-san, city an hour and a half away from Seoul by drive. It was within a short bus ride from a cluster of malls, shops and arcades called Westdom that became heavily populated by teens and people in their 20s during the weekends. The building itself was a fairly small but modern apartment complex, 20 storey tall like most Korean apartment buildings. Coach kkOma lived in a different apartment complex that was only 10 minutes away by feet. As far as Wangho was aware, the lady who did the cooking and the cleaning came around every morning at 8am and left around 2pm with the exception of weekends and holidays. The practice room was stationed in an entirely different building, just 5 minutes away from the coach’s house and 10 minutes away from their gaming house by feet.

 

Wangho arrived just a day after New Year. All his possessions could fit into one big suitcase and a backpack (it was considered a lot among the old ROX members since he was the only one who had any interest in looking presentable). It was a freezing day, the wind chilled him to his bones and he was wrapped tightly around himself inside the thick jacket to keep warm as he waited for Coach kkOma and the SKT manager to meet him at the entrance of SKT’s gaming house. It was a bit past 8pm when he saw the SKT coach jogging towards him with an apologetic grin and a wave.

“Hey Wangho, sorry, have you been waiting long?” the coach asked with a soft clap to his back.

“No, it’s alright, I just got here myself,” he replied with a flash of smile, becoming slightly nervous at the prospect of meeting the rest of SKT. He wasn’t acquainted with Huni and Profit yet and he has ever only interacted with Blank and Sky on League client. He felt kkOma gently squeeze his shoulders and give him a reassuring smile.

“There won’t be any formal introductions today. Everybody’s settled in already but Sanghyeok is still with his family. He should be coming back tomorrow morning. I’m afraid you don’t really get to choose your roommate since you came the latest so I think you’ll be with Sun-gu.  You guys will get along just fine. And…oh right, practice won’t start till next Monday, so you still have a week to settle in. There will be mandatory team dinners and meetings here and there but you are free to do whatever you want for the most part.”

Wangho nodded as kkOma chattered along their way up the apartment, not really digesting any of his words and his hands starting to feel clammy. When kkOma took out his keys and opened the door, he wiped his hands on his jeans to get rid of the sweat pooling on his palms and cleared his throat subtly as possible.

 

What greeted him was a short and narrow corridor with two doors opposite each other; the corridor widened to an open and rather bare living room to the right with a balcony. At the left was a kitchen with an island and adjacent to both these spaces was a longer corridor with 3 doors, 1 on the right and 2 on the left. There was another door a couple feet away from the flat screen TV on the wall. All in all, it was not an entirely unfamiliar sight.

‘Suppose gaming houses all look pretty much the same,’ he thought as he looked at the messy arrangement of shoes on the doorsteps and chastising himself for feeling so nauseated.

“I told the boys to at least try to keep the door step neat when the cleaning lady doesn’t come by,” the manager sighed and gave him a sheepish smile before nudging the shoes to the sides to allow him some space. He smiled back and before he could even take his shoes off, a loud scream ripped across the apartment.

“THAT WAS CHEATING, YOU CHEATED,” the familiar voice of Bang’s outraged voice reached Wangho’s ears and he couldn’t help but snicker.

“Did not, you just SUCK,” a voice that he assumed could be any other SKT T1 member replied, smug as they come. The argument continued undiscernibly as Wangho lifted his luggage into the apartment, took his shoes off, and guided to the living room by kkOma. Bang, Wolf, Huni, Blank and Sky were gathered around the coffee table with cards strewn about and Profit was laid across the couch, looking on with an amused smile. He was undoing his jacket when kkOma came up behind him and announced his presence.

“Hey, hey, quiet down for a minute,” he said with his affable yet commanding voice and the apartment became silent within a matter of seconds. He could feel 6 pairs of eyes on him and he felt his nerves creep back up before Bang and Wolf broke out into huge grins.

“Look who it is, you finally came, almost thought you backed out of the contract,” Wolf said with his signature beam ushering him to sit down beside him.

“Wangho will be joining you guys from today on, treat him well, ok?” the manager said as she looked around the admittedly disorderly apartment with discontent.

“That guy right there is Seunghoon, or Huni as you probably know him to be,” kkOma informed him, gesturing at the person who was giving Bang a smug smile. “The blonde one is Sky, or Haneul, Profit is the one on the couch, and you already know Junsik and Jaewan. And Sungu too I think.”

“Yeah, I do,” he nodded at each of the names and was relieved to see all of them nod back with friendly smiles.

“Well, that’s it with the introductions for now. Sungu, you’ll be Wangho’s roommate from now on so help him get settled and show him around the house. All of you guys don’t forget that we have a team dinner tomorrow at 6 when Sanghyeok comes back, alright?” kkOma reminded the team as he was heading out and was met with a chorus of acknowledgements. “Oh, and Wangho, I’ve sent you an example of what your days are going to look like on a regular day once the break is over on Kakao, check it out. Good luck!”

And with that, kkOma was out the door as well as the manager and Wangho felt a bit whip-lashed at the quick turn of events.

“Don’t worry about that, that’s our coach, always in a hurry to do something or go somewhere,” Sungu came up behind him and explained with an unsure smile.

“Oh…alright, then,” he replied, returning the smile. Sungu brightened up at his response and guided him to the room that was nearest to the front door. It was fairly cramped with a bunk bed and two desks laid out side by side. There was a closet just adjacent to the door as well.

“We are the youngest so we get the smallest room. Haneul’s the same age as us but he gets to room with Sanghyeok-yi hyung so…” Sungu trailed off and Wangho ignored the twinge of jealousy. Sungu led him outside, his voice getting drowned by the rowdy group in the living room.

“This is our bathroom but it only has a toilet and a basin so we share the shower with Haneul-yi and Sanghyeok-yi hyung,” Sungu said pointing at the door just opposite their room and led him into the living room. “That room just besides the TV is Junsik-yi hyung and Seunghoon’s room. The one at the farthest end of the corridor is Jaewan and Profit hyungs’. It has a bathroom as well so they share it with Junsik-yi hyung and Seunghoon. The room on the right side of the corridor is Haneul and Sanhyeok-yi hyung’s room and the door right to their room is the bathroom that we share with them. Aaand…that’s pretty much it,” Sungu said, clapping his hands together. “Oh and feel free to take anything from the kitchen or put anything in the kitchen. None of us ever really cooks though.”

“Alright, thanks,” Wangho replied, feeling a bit overwhelmed. It must have shown because Sungu looked at him apologetically before leading him back to their room, helping him with his luggage.      

“It’s a lot to take in, but you’ll get used to it. It should be quite similar to how the ROX Tigers or any other Korean teams operates,” Sungu reassured, turning on the light and lifting the luggage with a grunt into their room.

“Thanks, it’s probably just first day nerves and everything,” Wangho said, smiling ruefully at Sungu before opening his suitcase and unloading his belongings. Sungu sat on the lower bed fiddling with his phone but his eyes were trained on Wangho.

“Your jungling style,” Sungu started, “is polar opposite of Seoung-ung hyung’s playstyle.”

“Hmm?” Wangho stopped in his tracks, nonplussed and uneasy at the sudden statement.

“Oh, sorry, I’m sorry, don’t get me wrong, I really admire you and your skills,” Sungu quickly apologized, looking abashed but continued nonetheless. “I do think you’re a better player than me in many ways…I was just thinking your playstyle defined who you are professionally and you must have known that joining SKT meant you have to change in one way or another?”

“Ah…” Wangho considered his question and found himself at loss for words. Did he ever consider that? All he thought was that he wanted win (with Faker) and he wanted to play at the world-class level (with Faker) and he wanted to be acknowledged further (by Faker). He could feel his face starting to flush as it just dawned on him that the basis of his decision to join SKT was a certain world-famous midlaner but was saved from having to answer when Junsik and Jaewan burst into their room with shit-eating grins plastered on their faces.

“Wangho-ya~ You ready to get plastered tonight?” Junsik asked waving two soju bottles in his hands, lifting his eyebrows suggestively. Before he had the chance to answer properly, Jaewan dragged both him and Sungu into the living room where Haneul and Profit were cleaning up the coffee table and setting up glasses and snacks.

“Hyung, is it really okay to drink in the gaming house?” Wangho asked glancing at the rather impressive variety of alcohol that SKT have laid out before him.

“You know what they say with alcohol being the best social lubricant and whatnot. We’ll all be best friends by the end of the night,” Jaewan replied, settling him down beside Seunghoon.

“But wouldn’t the coach-,”

"No, no, no. No coach or gaming talk tonight, my friend,” Junsik cut him off, waving his index finger in front of his face. “Sanghyeok’s the only one who doesn’t drink so tonight is one of those rare nights we can get shitfaced without someone reminding us of all the stupid-ass things we did the next day.”

And that started the next 30 minutes that he remembered clearly before everything became whole mess of a memory.

 

∞∞∞

 

Wangho woke up with a blinding headache and his stomach feeling like it’s beginning to disintegrate itself. He groaned, kneading his eyes and propped himself up onto his elbows. He thanked the unknown deity that the curtains were drawn shut and he could see only a sliver of the daylight spilling through. He fumbled around for his phone and found that it was nearing noon. When the headaches resided a bit, he searched his memories for whatever has happened yesterday night.

After a few awkward drinks in the beginning, they started to down glasses after glasses and they were soon a laughing, talking band of drunkards, leaning against each other as if they had known each other for years. Drinks started getting spilled, secrets started being told (not that anybody remembered) and he vaguely remembered himself panicking when the doorbell rang in middle of the night, thinking it was their coach. It obviously wasn’t, seeing that he was still alive and he could hear Seunghoon’s snoring. He was laid out on the couch in the living room and he could see that all the mess they made yesterday was cleaned. ‘Did someone wake and sobered up already?’ he thought as he stood up, wanting to get cleaned up and get some coffee to chase away the throbbing headache and the nauseous feeling. He felt something slide off of him and he saw a red SKT jacket pooled around his feet. He frowned and picked the jacket up. He has yet to receive his SKT uniform and he didn’t remember anyone wearing it yesterday night. His hungover brain whirled sluggishly trying to figure out where it came from when sudden muffled footsteps startled him enough to lose hold of the jacket and he fumbled to catch it before it hit the ground.

“You’re the first one to wake up. Everybody’s still sleeping.”

Wangho snapped up his head at the familiar voice and felt his face flush at the unexpected appearance of none other than Sanghyeok in his infamous white t-shirt.

“Ah, th-thank you. I…uh, um…”

“There’re probably some pills for your hangover in the kitchen,” Sanghyeok said awkwardly gesturing towards the kitchen cabinet and glanced at the jacket in Wangho’s hands. “Just put that back in my room when you’re done with it. I couldn’t find the spare blankets and I didn’t want to go through your things so…”

“Huh? Wait, this is yours?” Wangho cried out, louder than he meant to and winced as his alcohol induced headaches throbbed.

“Yes?” Sanghyeok replied uncertainly at his outburst. “I came in the middle of the night and you guys were all pretty inebriated. Sungu took the lower bunk and I don’t think I could’ve gotten you up there so I just put you on the couch.”

“It was you who came in middle of the night?” Wangho asked, perplexed at the information and desperately willing his brain to work faster, trying to fill in the gaps.

“Yeah, well, I’m going to go shower…Good luck sobering up before the team dinner,” Sanghyeok said, and Wangho swore he could hear a teasing edge to his voice. Sanghyeok began tracing his steps back to the bathroom and just before he closed the bathroom door, he popped his head out and remarked, “Oh, and I didn’t know you were such a big fan of mine. Should’ve just asked and I would have been happy to give you a sign.”

Oh, there was _definitely_ a teasing edge this time. If anything, Sanghyeok’s face full of his gleeful smirk gave it away. He shut the door behind and the apartment was suddenly silent save for the shower being turned on.

‘Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,’ Wangho thought, his face beginning to pale. “…Holy shit, oh my god, what have I doneee.” He groaned as he remembered himself opening the door last night and mindlessly clinging onto the confused Sanghyeok at the doorstep. He made him sit next to him with their arms linked and started rattling off his years of following Faker’s career with every single little detail. He remembered leaning heavily into Sanghyeok’s side, patting his arm and knees to emphasize whatever point he was making (point being that he was an insane fanboy and should be kept on a leash because dear god, he wished he was if to make yesterday go away).

Wangho slumped down onto the couch and buried his face into the jacket, muffling his lamenting at the impression he must have made. He glanced at the jacket in his hands and felt his face warm. ‘It’s Sanghyeok-yi hyung’s…’ he thought as he held it at arm’s length to take a better look. He probably wore the same jacket to countless matches and won. He carefully straightened out the creases mindlessly before curling around it, clutching it tightly to his chest. He breathed in and out the faint smell of sweat and what he could only guess what Sanghyeok smelled like. He found the foreign smell oddly comforting and he didn’t know how long he stayed in that position. His eyes flared open when he heard the bathroom door unlock and quickly stood up, the jacket held by one hand.

“Hey, the shower’s yours now,” Sanghyeok commented, nodding towards the bathroom.

“Y-yeah, thanks,” Wangho replied and he felt his face flush even more (if that was possible) when he saw Sanghyeok glancing at the jacket in his hands before making his way back to his room. Once the door clicked shut, Wangho let out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding and shook his head at his own pathetic self.

 ‘…Ugh, I got to get it together…Or he’ll put a restraining order on me.’  


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This speed of writing, by the way, is not normal for me. I had absolutely nothing to do the past week and will not the next week either so…Hooray for whoever wants this fic to update fast. The plot will progress relatively slowly, just as a warning. 
> 
> Enjoy~

The rest of SKT woke up one by one. The team dinner that day was a series of formal introductions and kkOma drilling into the new recruits the importance of teamwork and winning. Wangho found himself quickly befriending Sungu, Haneul and Seunghoon, all 4 of them being somewhat of the same age with similar experiences. Haneul was an introvert but a physically affectionate person with an infinitely nice personality and rightfully adored by everyone. Seunghoon was exuberant, not afraid to call out anybody’s bullshit but was always there to make everybody laugh along with Junsik. Sungu was a bit of an outlier; he was friendly to his core and shy but he could tell he had a stubborn streak and liked his time by himself. Profit was rather quiet but he was instantly likeable with his mindless smile and calm presence. Junsik and Jaewan was the same as always, the steady bot-duo in and out of game. Jaewan, like Sungu, preferred his time alone but was very agreeable with everything and got along with everybody. Wangho knew by experience that Junsik lives off of teasing his teammates in addition to being very straightforward which causes some friction that Jaewan effortlessly smooths out every time.

Sanghyeok was a different story. He knew beforehand that Sanghyeok in professional life and in his everyday life were alike to a dual personality. In games, he experienced directly how charismatic and cutthroat he could be with a no-nonsense attitude (unless he was playing solo-que with the rest of SKT members). He also remembered his heart skipping a beat whenever he sees him getting silently incensed during a game with an annoyed smirk or raise of his eyebrows (he later figures that this may have been where his masochistic streak started to manifest). The Sanghyeok he slowly began familiarize in the gaming house was that of the one with a goofy smile, lazy yawns with impossible bed hairs in the morning, childish tendencies to sulk and be headstrong, not to mention the dad jokes that no matter how much he admired Faker he could not make himself laugh at.

By the end of the one week break that they were given, he no longer stammered or felt awestruck at everything he does which he was ridiculously proud to notice. But he still observed his every move, still felt his heart stutter when he looked him in the eye or said his name out of the blue and he began wondering just how long this fanboy phase could last before it began hurting his pride as a pro-player.

It was 9pm on a Sunday evening and only 12 hours before SKT’s new roster starts their practice. Trying to calm his nerves, Wangho had made his way outside the gaming house and strolled around until he found an intimate café. He sighed in relief as he entered the warm interior. He shrugged off his coat, ordered a drink and sat down by the corner seat. Absentmindedly, he looked at the schedule that kkOma sent him for the umpteenth time:

 

_Breakfast: 9am~10am_

_Scrims, practice: 10:30pm ~ 6pm (lunch/snack break from 1 to 2pm)_

_Dinner: 6:30pm ~ 8:00pm_

_Feedbacks: 8:00pm ~ 9pm_

_Free time: 9pm ~ 11pm_

_Solo practice/streaming/free time 11pm onward_

 

He must have had memorized this by now but something about the structure helped him relax. He let out a sigh and sunk into his seat, resting his cheek on his arms. Being in the Challenger rankings on the Korean server meant that he played with or against Sanghyeok quite a few times already. But he couldn’t begin to compare what it would be like to play a professional match with him. He wanted to play well, so much more than he has ever wanted to. He wanted to prove to Sanghyeok that he is good, that he is the best jungler out there for him (better than Bengi, he’ll show him). He wanted him to smile at him like he smiled at Bengi after a good match and be the one that he’ll celebrate with the second they win the finals.

He was too engrossed in his thoughts to notice a figure clad in the long, SKT jacket make its way across the café and settle down in the seat opposite him. It was only when a feet nudged him under the table that he jolted up, his coffee spilling some.

“Distracted much?” Sanghyeok asked, raising an amused eyebrow at him.

“Hyung~,” Wangho complained, wiping his hands and the table with a napkin, nevertheless feeling embarrassed at being caught unguarded.  

“I didn’t know you come here.”

“I don’t. I just found the place today.”

“Hmm…what were you thinking about?”

“Nothing much…just tomorrow,” Wangho replied, trying to look as if his head wasn’t just full with thoughts of impressing Sanghyeok seconds ago.

“Are you nervous?” Sanghyeok inquired, giving him one of those unnervingly intense stares that made him feel like he could see everything.  When Wangho didn’t reply, he let out a faint, breathy laugh and ruffled his hair. Wangho instantly shrunk away trying to hide his face that burned at the contact in his collars.

“Don’t be. Anybody who joins SKT are people who are capable of winning. And you’re good, aren’t you?” Sanghyeok reassured him, a slight smile pulling at his lips.

“Of course I am,” Wangho retorted, refusing the urge to pout.

“Then let’s see if you ‘re better than Nooblank,” Sanghyeok challenged, flicking his forehead. Wangho, rubbing his forehead, let out a half-hearted huff of annoyance. “Come on, it’s just going to get colder. Let’s get back to the gaming house.”

Wangho wordlessly got up and followed the midlaner out the café. He shuddered when the cold night air hit his face and huddled into himself, hands deep in his pockets. He saw, or rather felt, Sanghyeok’s gaze towards his direction which he tried to ignore but it went on for minutes. He snapped his head towards Sanghyeok (having to look up more than he liked to admit) when he couldn’t bare it anymore and his face flushed under the stare despite the cold.

“What is it?” he demanded. His sudden actions startled Sanghyeok and he scratched his head abashedly.

"Nothing,” he shrugged nonchalantly before looking straight ahead. Wangho was still discontent but decided not to pry and they walked on in silence. They both breathed out a sigh of relief when the warmth of their gaming house welcomed them in. It was barely 10pm but the gaming house was already quiet and the only light that was on was the kitchen.

“I’m going to just turn in now,” Sanghyeok said as he yawned and toed off his shoes.

“Already?”

“I’m tired. You go get some sleep too, might not be able to from tomorrow onwards,” he remarked before trudging off to his room. Wangho glanced at Sanghyeok’s back before carefully opening his door lest Sungu was already sleeping. The room was empty and he flicked on the light. It was starting to seem more lived in and he had had decided to take the bottom bunk a week back since Sungu was already using the top bunk. He sat down on the bed and checked his phone. Now it was less than 11 hours. He groaned as he got up and stretched out; Sanghyeok was probably right, he should get in some long hours of sleep in while he can.

 

∞∞∞

 

The SKT schedule was pretty standard for a Korean team: about 12 hours of practice, scrims and feedbacks and the free time spent mostly playing solo-que. Wangho easily slid into the easy rhythm of it all, but it wasn’t without a hitch. He was used to playing so forward for Kuro back on ROX, getting his fair share of kills and buffs and carrying games single-handedly. With Sanghyeok in the midlane now, the first couple weeks of practice felt like he was competing against him rather than with him. Not to mention that now with Seunghoon on top lane, every single member of the team (with an exception to the bot-duo perhaps) is used to and wanted to carry the team.

It predictably did not work out well and they lost more than half of their scrims. kkOma was patient through it all, making sure they understood it was not their mechanics or decision making that was underperforming. Jaewan was always there with his calm voice to alleviate any irritation and anger that built up during a game and Sanghyeok made sure that they communicate their shot-callings even when they were losing. And steadily, despite their scrim win rate staying low, he could tell that they were improving and playing with each other became more pleasure than work.

The last week of January, when they were now familiar with each other’s play style and life style, they took a 3-day break for a teamwork building getaway.  They weren’t actually scrimming and practicing league but participating in activities that are meant to improve their teamwork. Wangho didn’t quite see the point; it wasn’t how well they got along in real life that (they all did get along very well) hindered their game play. Nevertheless, today was the first day of the getaway. They drove about 4 hours into the countryside and there was nothing but snowy mountains and field around them. They had reserved a cabin from a sports and training retreat camping site but seeing that it was too early in the year, they were the only ones. They arrived in the afternoon and spent the rest of the day playing soccer, basketball (sort of, none of them really knew what they were doing, except Junsik and Seunghoon) and some other team games. They gulped their dinner down, ravenous after hours of way more physical activity than they usually get.

 

And that brought them to 8pm, getting ready to take advantage of the hot spring in the retreat. Sanghyeok was late, which Junsik and Jaewan informed him with sniggers that it was one of his trademarks, so they went on ahead without him. It was rather akin to a public bath except half of it was outside. None of them frequented public baths in the first place and not very keen to go in buck-naked, they all had a towel wrapped around their hips. It was almost comical how they let out a collective sigh as they sunk into the hot spring, steam rising as the hot water vapors met the cold air of the night.

“Fuck yeah, this is the stuff,” Junsik sighed out as he submerged his head in then out of the water.

“I don’t think I have bones anymore,” Profit provided, practically floating as Haneul snickered at the sight. Wangho has always been one of the least rowdy in ROX Tigers line up and the tradition continued into SKT. He watched on as Seunghoon dunked Profit’s head into the water and broke out in laughter with the rest of his team as Profit spluttered.  Junsik and Jaewan waded in to help him hold Profit down. Play fight ensued and he couldn’t tell much of what’s going on but he was sure he will have a lungful of water if he approached any nearer. He walked to the edge, his eyes still on the rest of his team, grinning as the target switched to Seunghoon.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve only been away for 5 minutes at best,” a voice too close to Wangho’s ear sounded and he let out a yelp (a very manly one of course). He whipped his head to his right to find Sanghyeok dipping his legs into the hot spring. He covered the ear that Sanghyeok spoke into and earned an enquiring look from him.

“You have a weird tendency to creep up on me, hyung,” he remarked, looking away, hoping Sanghyeok didn’t read too much into his actions. Luckily enough, he was already flushed due to the hot water, he doubted he could get any redder.

“You’re just too unaware,” he retorted, submerging himself into the water up to his shoulders. “Why aren’t you with them?”

“I’ll get beat down and drowned for sure. I’d like to live long enough to win the Worlds.”

“Even with Haneul-yi there?”

“He’s still bigger than me,” Wangho shrugged, pulling his wrist up to prove his point. What he didn’t expect was Sanghyeok gingerly grabbing his wrist and pulling it closer to compare to his own. Their bare shoulders and arms touched and Sanghyeok was blissfully unaware of Wangho’s inner turmoil of trying to just keep breathing.  He carefully aligned their arms and inspected them before giving that smile of his that pulled up just the corners of his lips and wrinkled the outer corners of his eyes.

“I’m pretty skinny myself but your wrists are so thin. They feel so fragile,” Sanghyeok observed, wrapping his fingers around Wangho’s wrist, rubbing at the styloid process of his radius.

“…I’m still growing you know,” Wangho murmured when he could finally bring himself to work his vocal cords.“I’ll consent to that once you grow as tall as me,” Sanghyeok laughed out, letting go of his wrist before wading in to join Sungu and Haneul at the edge of the fray. Once Sanghyeok’s back was towards him, Wangho immersed himself all the way to his nose, wrapping his hand around the wrist Sanghyeok was just holding that still felt like it was tingling. He let out a breath underwater, making the water bubble up and watched Sanghyeok’s back almost begrudgingly.

‘Stupid…Who’s unaware…’

 

∞∞∞

 

The retreat went by without any hiccups and they were packing up each of their belongings, ready to head back to Il-san. After the hot springs, Wangho made sure that he wasn’t caught off guard by Sanghyeok to spare himself.

“Wangho! Hurry up, you’re the only one who hasn’t packed!” Sungu shouted from downstairs where they were gathering to leave.

“Going, going,” he muttered under his breath and surveyed the room he was staying in to make sure he didn’t leave anything behind. He hauled his backpack to his shoulder and was about to leave when he heard some heated whispers just outside the room. He halted and despite getting the sense that he wasn’t supposed to hear whatever conversation was going on outside, he leaned in and pressed his ear on door.

“Forget it already, it’s none of your business,” Sanghyeok hissed under his breath, sounding irater than Wangho has ever heard him before.

“It’s my business when you’ve been moping all winter and it’s making your plays shit,” Junsik snapped back. Wangho leaned back a little, feeling ashamed at eavesdropping what was obviously a personal argument. Few seconds went by before Junsik let out a frustrated sigh.

“…How long has it been,” he asked, all the vehemence gone from his voice.

“Since what?”

“Since it all started.”

“…3 years? Or something,” replied Sanghyeok.

“You still feel the same way?”

“…”

“Sanghyeok, I been your friend for…a good 4, 5 years now. So I’m saying this because I care: get closure and leave it behind. You know this is hard on Seongung-hyung as well.”

“…Easier said than done,” he said, sounding resigned.

“I know man, but just…keep trying. You know, new team, new start, you might find something that interests you if you just pay more attention.”

“Like what?”

“You mean ‘whom’. And I don’t know, I’m not going to babysit you like Gyeonghwan-hyung did, go figure it out yourself,” Junsik retaliated, with a hint of smile in his voice. Wangho heard clothes rustling and footsteps leading down the stairs.  He could hear his heart beating in his ears and suddenly felt deluged at what he had just overheard. Did any of it make any sense?

‘They talked about Bengi-hyung,’ Wangho felt that twinge of uneasiness that always accompanied the previous SKT jungler. ‘It sounded like...they had a fight or something.’

He didn’t notice that he made had made his way downstairs as well and Sungu broke him out of his daze with a nudge to his shoulder.

“Hey, you were totally blanking out, everything alright?” Sungu asked, looking away like he always did when he showed his concerns.

“Uh, yeah, I think so,” Wangho replied, still bewildered.

“Alright, everybody’s here, let’s go,” kkOma’s voice sounded distant and Wangho followed the crowd, his head buzzing, still trying to make sense of the conversation that went on between Sanghyeok and Junsik.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just found out that the dates are not accurate. As in when the spring splits starts and so on but I decided to give myself some allowance regarding time frames. Hope it doesn’t bother the readers too much. 
> 
> Sadly, I won’t be updating as rapidly, probably once or twice a week now. But I am trying to upload longer chapters so please be patient~ AND PLEASE NOTE THAT THE NUMBER OF CHAPTERS ARE STILL TENTATIVE. I'm just roughly guessing from how much ideas I have left. 
> 
> Also, guess where the idea for the beginning of the chapter came from :)))

“GAHHH, I lost again! I’m going down to Masters, you hear! MASTERS!” Jaewan cried out, pulling at his hair as the red ‘DEFEAT’ turned up on his screen after a solo-que game.

“Serves you right, hyung! What was with those crappy ultimates huh?!” demanded Seunghoon who was in the same game as Jaewan.

Wangho sighed as the argument continued, leaning back into his chair waiting for a match on his own account. The spring split was well underway and they continued their win streak into Week 3. It was beginning of February and the weather showed no sign of warming up yet. He rested his cheek on the desk and found himself observing Sanghyeok in the next seat, absorbed in his game in solo-que with Haneul. Despite having the heater turned up in the practice room, he was still wearing his jacket and delightedly trolling Haneul in the midlane on Olaf.

Ever since the matches started, none of them had a break, physical or mentally. They practiced day and night and when he began to think about the conversation he overheard quite a few weeks back now, he found himself being distracted away by practices, scrims or meetings. Times like these, when it was past 11pm and they were given free time to practice on solo-que, was the only time he had any luxury to think about anything outside of his career.

 

It was just about past 12 when Haneul spoke up.

“Heyyy, we have some free time, let’s do something together,” suggested Haneul.

“We are always doing something together,” complained Profit from the next seat.

“Hyung~ Something other than League!”

“I wouldn’t mind doing something different,” shrugged Junsik, shutting down his League client and swirling around on the chair.

“Me neither,” grumbled Jaewan, still brooding about his last game. When Seunghoon, Sungu and Wangho all agreed, Sanghyeok silently shut down his computer and looked at them expectantly.

“What is there for us to do?” he asked.

“Hmm…Oh! Have you seen that horror movie _Insidious_? I got it downloaded with subtitles and all but never had the balls to watch it alone,” Seunghoon proposed, looking around the room.

“Seriously? A horror movie?” Sungu asked incredulously, already looking scared at the prospect.  

“Hear the movie is pretty good though, I wouldn’t mind giving it a shot,” Jaewan quipped in.

“Besides, it’s always funny to watch Haneul-yi and Wangho get scared,” snickered Junsik who was already getting ready to go back to their gaming house.

“People who purposefully watch and _enjoy_ horror movies are not right in the head,” Wangho shot back.

“ _Insidious_ it is,” Seunghoon whistled out, having to force Haneul up from his seat who looked as if he regretted that he said anything.

“If Wangho and I wake up screaming, it’s all on you hyungs,” Haneul sighed as they piled out of the practice room. They picked up some drinks and snacks from a convenience store on their way, a couple of them going ahead to link Seunghoon’s computer to the TV. When they arrived, Seunghoon and Sungu was already changed into their sleepwear with the movie ready to start.

“Where’s Profit-hyung?” enquired Sanghyeok on his way to his room.

“The guy already went to sleep, such a bore,” complained Seunghoon. Wangho quickly changed into his sweatpants and hoodie before joining the rest of his team. He settled himself on the couch with Junsik and Sungu on his left. Haneul and Jaewan were clustered on the floor leaning their backs against the couch and Seunghoon took the armchair. When all 5 of them settled down in the living room, they shut off the lights and waited for Sanghyeok (it was an everyday routine for all of them now, waiting on Sanghyeok). When he finally arrived, he sat himself down next to Wangho with Seunghoons: “Hurry, hurry, the movie’s like 2 hours long, I want to get more than 5 hours of sleep.”

Wangho tried not to pay too much mind that their shoulders were brushing against each other and he brought his legs up on the couch and hugged his knees to his chest, ready to block his vision whenever necessary.

“Starting the movie,” Jaewan said, pressing play. The beginning was pretty cliché: a cursed American family in a suburban setting and their child getting haunted. He had half his eyes covered by his knees, and his heart beating too fast for his own good and he could see Haneul twitch at any sudden noises or movements. He’d have laughed but he wasn’t in such a good condition himself. 20 minutes in, an ominous music began to play and he just _knew_ there was a jump scare coming-

“HOLY MOTHER OF-,“multitude of screams came from the SKT’s members, save for Junsik (did he have a heart made out of iron or something?). Wangho himself let out a string of high-toned curses and he jumped high enough from his position that his eyes weren’t covered anymore. His blood was pumping hard enough for him to hear it and he quickly buried his face into the couch. His hands automatically grabbed onto whatever was nearest to it and he squeezed his eyes shut and did his best to drown out any noise. He could hear Junsik chortling besides him, nudging his side.

“Hey, hey, it’s gone now, you can open your eyes again,” he cooed, clearly amused. Wangho peeked at the screen and let out a great sigh of relief. He took comfort in the fact that Haneul wasn’t in a much better state: he somehow had squeezed his whole upper body in between Jaewan’s back and the couch, his hands clutched tightly on Jaewan’s shirt. Jaewan was trying to pry him off with his attention still on the screen.

Wangho started to reposition into a less embarrassing one and only then did he notice his head was buried not on the couch but against Sanghyeok’s arm and what his hands clutched onto was the hem of Sanghyeok’s shirt. In fact, he grabbed onto the shirt so hard that it was being stretched out and he caught a glimpse of the other’s hip bone.

‘Oh crap,’ Wangho thought, his face reddening like it hasn’t in a while. Without having the guts to look up, he slowly let go of Sanghyeok’s shirt and tried to move away, praying that he hasn’t noticed. But of course he has and he stopped in his tracks when Sanghyeok’s cold hand patted the top of his head in what he assumed was meant to be comforting. And, although he would never admit it to the man himself, he found it unbelievably endearing: the way he  awkwardly positioned his arm so he could pat his head and the way he was so obviously avoiding looking at him.

He felt his insides warm (it was normal right, feeling this when someone like Sanghyeok does something like this? Yeah, he’d say its normal, completely normal) and he silently resumed his position, curling his legs up against his chest and gently grabbing onto the Sanghyeok’s sleeves. He might as well take advantage of this and more so because he didn’t believe in himself to actually go through the movie without having something or someone to clutch onto for his dear life.

 

When the movie ended, Junsik was yawning and Haneul and himself were worn out to their crux. He let his head drop to his knees and glared at Seunghoon.

“Watching this was a stupid idea, Seunghoon.”

“Come on, it wasn’t too bad,” chuckled Jaewan.

“Yeah, typical horror movie, just bunch of jump scares,” complained Junsik.

“I don’t think I can sleep tonight,” said Haneul, his eyes all but losing focus. Sungu let out a laugh and stood up, stretching.

“It’s 3am. I’m heading to sleep,” he yawned and they got up one by one. Wangho uncurled his legs and moved away from Sanghyeok, too self-conscious to look at him directly.

“Hyung, aren’t you going to sleep?” he asked when Sanghyeok didn’t get up.

“Huh? Yeah, I am,” he replied as if broken out of a daze.

“Alright…goodnight,” he said, still not looking at him, and made his way to his room. He barely heard Sanghyeok’s muted ‘goodnight’ just before he closed the door behind him.

 

∞∞∞

 

Time went by increasingly fast as Spring season progressed. They dropped one match so far against the Afreeca Freecs and although they were winning most of their matches by Week 5, Wangho still had a problem working seamlessly with the midlane. It bothered him more than it should – he tried playing passive, he tried playing aggressive but he just couldn’t find the coordination that Sanghyeok had with Bengi through season 3 to 5. He even started looking back at past SKT games and talked with Sungu and none of it seemed to be taking effect. He was frustrated at the lack of development and it seemed to just worsen his plays. Worst of it all is that Sanghyeok didn’t seem to mind.

Wangho stretched out his arms above his head and tried to clear his head. kkOma advised him time and time again to not dwell on the problem, that it’ll work out with time.  They had just won their match against Samsung and they had 4 days off before practice starts again. It was the second day of the break and Jaewan, Sungu, Seunghoon and Profit decided to visit their family for the first two days and the rest of them stayed behind in the gaming house. Junsik and Haneul were out with their school friends tonight and having met his old teammates yesterday Wangho had decided to stay in for the day (they were the same as ever, unruly and loud, but lifted his spirits more than anything else). It was nearing 9 when he came back from getting dinner from a nearby restaurant. The gaming house seemed to be empty still from when Sanghyeok went out in the afternoon to god knows where.

‘Better shower before the rest of them gets back,’ thought Wangho and stripped off to his underwear and grabbed a change of clothes from the closet. He hurried to the bathroom, shuddering as the cold air hit his bare skin. He grabbed the door handle but before he could push it open, he found himself being pulled in when the door opened from the inside. He stumbled as he lost his balance and he squeezed shut his eyes, preparing for the fall. But instead of the cold tile floor of the bathroom, he felt himself fall onto a rather warm chest. He somehow managed to prevent himself from squashing whoever broke his fall by holding himself up by his knees and elbows. He began to rush out an apology and stopped short when he looked up and saw just who he fell on.

He felt heat consume his face as he took in his and Sanghyeok’s position. He was without glasses and his hair was dripping wet and curling from the shower with only a towel precariously wrapped around his bony hips. His knees were straddling one of his legs, his face dangerously close to Sanghyeok’s bare chest and he suddenly became too aware that he was barely covered himself. He froze, almost afraid that he will spontaneously combust on the spot. He heard Sanghyeok groan at the fall, rubbing the back of his head. His heart thumped loudly in his chest and he tried to will it to slow down as Sanghyeok pushed himself onto his elbows, peering down at him.

“What’s up with you and falling on flat surfaces,” he asked rhetorically, not making any moves to push Wangho off of him. At any other times he would have pointed out that it was Sanghyeok’s fault, but perhaps too much blood rushed to his head – he only mumbled out an excuse or an apology, he didn’t even know himself, and pushed himself off the floor.

Sanghyeok stood up after him and maybe it was the confined space of the bathroom or their previous position but he was standing close enough that Wangho could still feel the heat coming off of his body and the steam in the shower didn’t help any. He looked away, afraid that Sanghyeok could hear his heart beating away in his chest. He saw from the corner of his eyes Sanghyeok shooting him an inquisitive look before closing the door behind him.

Wangho immediately dropped into a crouch and buried his head in his arms. He grabbed at his chest, still feeling his heart running too fast. After waiting for it to calm down, he sank into the floor, looking up at the ceiling that was dripping with condensed droplets of water.

‘This isn’t good for my heart…’

 

∞∞∞

 

_It was just the two of them in the gaming house and they were, for some reason, in the reverse position of the earlier incident in the bathroom. Wangho felt desperately cornered and tried to crawl away from underneath him when Sanghyeok’s hands grabbed his shoulder and pinned him down to the floor, facing him. He shuddered when he felt Sanghyeok breath down his bare collar bone and tried to push him away but felt strength leaving his body when his wrist was grabbed and pressed down above his head. He felt the warm lips touch the protruding bone and bit his lower lip to stop any unwarranted noises escaping. But a small whine at the back of his throat still eluded him when Sanghyeok moved himself up, sliding the chapped lips up his neck until he was just millimeters away from kissing him._

_"Wait, hyung-,” before he could finish, Sanghyeok closed the distance between them and Wangho felt his breath stop as he felt the colds hands sliding down his stomach and-_

 

He woke up abruptly, his hands gripping the bed cover, his breathing just a bit faster than it should be and his back feeling clammy despite the temperature. He blinked up at the bed above him, confounded and unable to move. He willed himself to survey the room to make sure he was still alone and glanced down at his lower half. He let out a groan of despair when he saw that he was hard and curled into himself, feeling shameful, contemptible and confused. After a few seconds of contemplating, he thought to himself, ‘…This isn’t normal anymore, is it.’  

 

∞∞∞

 

The next morning, everybody was back at the gaming house, ready to spend 2 more blissful days of break. Wangho felt rather drained after the painful ordeal of admitting to himself that his heart running a mile per minute when Sanghyeok was close by and dreaming that R-rated dream about him (probably) exceeded what he stubbornly thought stemmed from idolization. Even throughout today’s morning, the images from the dream and the accident in the bathroom kept popping up at inconvenient times and he was already asked twice by Sungu and Jaewan whether he was alright when he blushed while staring out into the space. He tried to avoid seeing the culprit of his distress as much as possible. It went to a point where he basically ran out of the house when Sanghyeok woke up near noon, receiving a chorus of greetings from the rest of his teammates.

 

So here he was, with only his phone and his jacket, killing time by walking around the gaming house, shivering at the cold February air. It was a weekday and not yet lunch hour so the already vacant surroundings of the gaming house were nearly devoid of people. He’s had a lot of time and quiet to think about last night and regardless of how many possibilities he came up with, the one he kept going back to was that he felt something more than platonic towards the SKT midlaner. He wasn’t unfamiliar with the concept of homosexuality but he was having a hard time believing that this is what it was. He could blame it on being a sexually frustrated (and inexperienced) 21-year-old but he couldn’t deny just how much of his time was spent observing or thinking about Sanghyeok. He wasn’t gay, or at the very least, he’s never felt anything more than friendship between him and another guy and it made him shudder with disgust when he tried imagining what happened between him and Sanghyeok happening with any other SKT members. Even more so, he remembered crushing on a couple girls back in middle school. He felt like he could scream in frustration but his hands and feet were becoming numb from the cold and he trudged his way back to the gaming house. He was about to enter the apartment building when he faintly heard Sanghyeok’s voice just behind the door into the apartment building. He quickly hid himself around the corner, still not ready to face him, especially alone and cursed both himself and the midlaner for the god-awful timing. He leaned his back against the corner and he could now hear quite clearly that he was talking to someone on the phone.

“…Yeah, I’ve been doing good. SKT’s doing fine as well, we just dropped one game so far to Gyeonghwan-hyung,” he heard Sanghyeok say into the phone. After a pause, Sanghyeok let out that breathy laugh of his.

“Coach is losing more hair but…that was inevitable with how much he works.” After another pause, Sanghyeok said with a more hesitant tone, “How about you, hyung, how’s LPL treating you?”

‘He’s talking to Bengi,’ Wangho thought and unable to suppress his curiosity, he peeked around the corner and felt himself getting queasy. Sanghyeok was smiling that smile he seemed to have reserved for Bengi (he’d recognize that smile no matter when or where) and it was so soft and gentle than anything he’s seen him express.

“You should just come back to LCK. Coach would take you back in a heartbeat…And we miss you, so…” Wangho felt like his heart was dropping to his stomach as he listened on.

“…When are you coming back, hyung. You’re spouting the same shit as Junsik, it’s not fair how you left-,” Sanghyeok claimed, his voice getting more incandescent. “I just…want to see you.”

Wangho felt his breath hitch and he couldn’t bare it anymore, pushing himself off the building and tracing his steps back. He felt something twist painfully in his chest, so much so that he was momentarily worried whether he was having a heart attack. It felt like something was obstructing his breathing and he clutched at his chest before realizing that this is what a heartache feels like.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should the rating be changed, please be the judges, I dunno anymore T^T


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rather uneventful, some sort of a ‘break’ after all the happenings in the previous one. It’s more for the sake of character development more than plot, hope it’s not too boring :’) 
> 
> And it’s pretty stupid but I was so content when I checked my AO3 some time before and there was 22 comments, 22 kudos, 2 bookmarks and 222 hits on this fic. Such a perfect alignment <3

Wangho refused to admit to anybody, including himself, that he was wallowing in self-pity. He was quite proud of how well he handled interacting with Sanghyeok after everything that happened last week. He had returned to the gaming house an hour later when he couldn’t bare the cold anymore and went straight to his bed. He had stayed there till evening, warming up his hands and feet, mentally combing through everything he’s learned the past two months.

There was obviously some sort of history between Sanghyeok and his previous jungler that Junsik was also aware of. It seemed as if the problem has yet to be resolved, at least on Sanghyeok’s side and all this became more complicated because of his own feelings for the said midlaner. He didn’t know when these feelings came to, perhaps the moment he saw him rise to the e-sports scene, or perhaps when he finally was able to meet him directly. He didn’t want to jump to any conclusions but he was confident in presuming that what happened between Sanghyeok and Bengi was beyond simple friendship or brotherly affection.  

He felt his heart throb uncomfortably again as he remembered the conversation he’s overheard between the two. ‘This is so pathetic…one-sided, unrequited love, how much more pitiful can it get,’ he thought, rolling his eyes at his own state of affairs.

 

Paying no mind to his inner unrest, week 6 of the spring split rolled on by and they prepared their match against KT like any others. Wangho, now that he’s accepted his feelings, noticed that he was paying more attention to his own feelings with anything related to his source of distress. He found that he was stupidly content watching Sanghyeok read a book during his free time or eating while being distracted by his phone. He found himself purposefully avoiding him or keeping him at a distance from time to time just to save himself some pride from feeling like a lovesick teenager pining after a lost cause. And most of all, he felt way more jealousy than he’s felt before. He felt envious of Junsik and Jaewan and even kkOma sometimes at how much they knew about Sanghyeok given the time they had with him. He even felt jealous of Seunghoon at how they were able to diss each other with no hard feelings but worst of all, he felt jealous of Haneul at how much Sanghyeok seemed to dote on him. Feeling anything negative against Haneul felt like committing a sin because he has never seen the guy harbor any bad feelings – in fact, the guy was so unadulterated that he could probably turn something corrupt into something saintly. It made sense that Sanghyeok paid special mind to him since he was the second midlaner of SKT and kkOma has given him the task of mentoring Haneul regarding their profession. But justifying didn’t help tame the green monster in him and he was ashamed to confess that it was starting to become noticeable.

It was during practice, a day or two before their match against KT. Sanghyeok was leaning over Haneul, talking to him about his item build and masteries for some of the midlane champions. He didn’t realize that he was staring until Sanghyeok walked away and his eyes met Haneul’s. He looked away to his screen as naturally as he could but Haneul caught his stare nonetheless and rolled his chair over to his side.  

“Wangho-ya~ Are you jealous?” Haneul asked, all but serious. But his question struck Wangho’s consciousness and he spun around involuntarily towards Haneul at break neck speed, his face reddening.

“What? No, no way,” he quickly lied, hoping Haneul didn’t notice anything.

“Wait, are you serious?” Haneul asked, grabbing his forearm, his eyes becoming round.

“N-no, I told you, I’m not,” he stuttered out. He took a quick look at Haneul when there was an unnerving silence and saw him giving him a thoughtful stare that scared him.

“…Wh-what is it?”

“Wangho-ya…do you like Sanghyeok-yi hyung?” Haneul asked, his voice so free of pretense that it caught him off guard.

“Yes? I mean, I don’t hate him or anything…”

“No, I mean, do you _like_ him,” Haneul emphasized, giving him a meaningful look through his doe eyes. He felt his heart skip a beat at the question but he tried to keep his face neutral.

“Of course not, stop asking weird questions,” he replied, batting away Haneul, keeping his eyes on his screen. He held his breath until Haneul shrugged and went back to his spot. He glimpsed at Haneul’s back and let himself breath again. It frightened him at how on point Haneul was. It took him…who knows how many years or months to realize his feelings himself, and here he was, guessing it away after one interaction.

‘Mother was right…the people who looks the most innocent are the scariest.’

 

∞∞∞

 

They were given a night of rest after they beat KT, 2 to 1. Half of them decided to spend it sleeping in while Wangho, including Junsik, Seunghoon and Sungu, decided to spend it playing games in their practice room. It was well into the night and Junsik and Sungu went out to get some refreshments. He had just finished playing a game and his thoughts, as it usually did these days, strayed towards Sanghyeok and Bengi. He never planned on talking to Seunghoon nor anybody else about his predicament before but now was as a good time as any.

“Hey, Seunghoon-ah.”

“Yeah?”

“What are your thoughts on homosexuality?”

“Wa-, wait, huh?!” Seunghoon tore his eyes away from the screen and looked at Wangho almost disbelievingly. “Where did that come from?”

“I was just wondering, since you lived abroad and everything, if you have different opinions,” he said, shrugging. Seunghoon took a moment and nodded, deeming his explanation worthy.

“I think who you like is who you like,” he started, “whether or not that person happens to be a male or a female shouldn’t be so important, I think.”

Wangho gestured for him to continue.

“I mean, I can’t imagine myself with a dude, but that’s just me. I don’t think it’s anything worth condemning someone for nor do I think it’s ‘unnatural’. The fact that you like that person is what’s important right? Not what kind of genitals they have under there,” Seunghoon finished crudely, making Wangho laugh at such a trademark talk.

“Why do you ask? Did someone you know recently come out or something?”

“No, nothing like that. Just came across something on the internet.”

 And with that Seunghoon dropped the topic and went back to his gaming. Wangho suddenly felt a warm gratitude towards Seunghoon and his ways – he felt like some burden’s been lifted off his shoulder and he felt himself smile as he entered another game.

 

 

∞∞∞

 

Week 6 ended and they had won both matches against KT. All in all, it was a good week for SKT but the matches left a sour and bitter taste in Wangho’s mouth. He had to be subbed out during both of the matches and although he believed in Sungu to win the games when he could not, being subbed out was never a good feeling. The win rate of SKT was at an all-time high, but he felt and he knew that his coordination with the midlane has stalled at less than mediocre, at least to his standards. His frustration started to show in his game plays and his communication and it went to a point where they would lose scrim matches due to frequent miscommunication between he and Sanghyeok and clashing in-game. He had a sense that the unresolved, one-sided situation he had with the midlaner didn’t help any.

 

Today was one of those days and instead of going back to the practice room right away at 11pm, he stood around the front of the building, reluctant to go inside out of guilt and frustration. He nursed the coffee that he grabbed on his way and settled down on the stair case.

 “Scrim today didn’t really go your way, did it?” Wangho whirled around and saw kkOma approaching him from inside the building. 

 “...No.” kkOma settled himself down beside him with a huff.

“I know it’s hard. And you’re trying you’re best here, but your communication, especially with Sanghyeok, is deteriorating and I can only guess something went on between you two,” kkOma said, looking at Wangho with a searching stare but didn’t demand an answer. “I don’t want to probe into your personal life, Wangho, but it starts becoming a problem when it bleeds into your professional life. Whatever it is that’s hindering your collaboration with Sanghyeok, it’ll be better for both of you to talk it out as soon as you can.”

“I don’t think it’s something that we can solve by ‘talking it out’, coach,” Wangho remarked, letting out a resigned laugh as he imagined how that conversation would go. kkOma looked at him with a mixture of surprise and curiosity.

 “I’m sorry, I want to play better and I know my mechanics are still on point. Whatever’s going on between Sanghyeok-yi hyung and I is entirely my fault and I’ll try to solve it as soon as I can,” Wangho said, trying to convince himself rather than kkOma. After a moment of silence, kkOma silently took out his business card and a pen from inside his coat and started scribbling something on the blank space.

“It seems like you’re going through some personal stuff. This,” kkOma said, handing him the business card, “is the code to my apartment. Sometimes, it’s not the best idea to shove two people into a cage for them to ‘talk it out’. If you need somewhere to clear your head or stay the night somewhere other than the gaming house, you’re always welcome.”

Wangho took the business card and felt touched at the extent his coach was willing to go for him.

“Thanks, coach…”he trailed off, looking at the 6 digit number messily written on the business card.

“Now get back inside and practice your Olaf, you’re getting sloppy at it,” kkOma said before the atmosphere got too sentimental. Wangho laughed at the sudden change of subject and retorted: “Still better than Seunghoon’s though!”

“Haha!  That’s true,” kkOma chuckled, ushering him back inside the building.

 

∞∞∞

 

Week 6 turned into week 7 and the month turned into March. The sun now provided a little bit of warmth and there was no sign of snow anywhere. They beat Jin Air Greenwings fairly handedly and their match against Kongdoo Monsters was in two days. He tried acting neutral with Haneul but even he had to acknowledge he was acting awkward around him but that’s only because he’s afraid that he will somehow dig out his deepest, darkest secret that he didn’t know about himself after last time. He felt like he’s become closer with Seunghoon and he found himself relying on kkOma more whenever he felt exasperation with not only his professional life but his personal life. Of course, he couldn’t tell him anything in specific (he doesn’t think he has the guts to tell anybody at all) but he was always an accepting and sympathetic ear, ready to listen.

 

He and Sanghyeok went on as they always have done in the past. He was almost glad that nothing has changed because he can only imagine that things will change for the worse. And however pitiful it sounded, he was desperate to hang on to what he had with Sanghyeok right now because he felt as if it’s the best he can get. He made sure that he acted the same, looked the same and sounded the same around the midlaner. But his act inevitably slipped one late night after practice. It was around 3am and he was exhausted both physically and mentally. It was another day of bad scrims and he had stayed up late queuing up game after game. It seemed that Sanghyeok was also dissatisfied with his games today because it was only the two of them left in the practice room.

Wangho had turned off his computer and kneaded his dry eyes, a big yawn escaping him. He had to go back to the gaming house but he didn’t have the confidence to walk the short distance without falling asleep on his feet. ‘I’ll just rest a bit here and then go,’ he thought, pulling his legs up onto the chair and resting his head on his knees. He immediately started drifting off, the sound of Sanghyeok’s keyboard and mouse clicking fading in to the background. He didn’t know how long he has dozed off but he was jolted awake after what felt like only seconds. A hand was gently placed on his shoulder, shaking him awake. He barely opened his bleary eyes and glimpsed up, and saw Sanghyeok standing over him, his figure lit up only by the computer screen.

“Wangho-ya, its 3:30am. Let’s go back to the gaming house, you shouldn’t fall asleep here,” Sanghyeok said. He was looking at Wangho with a little frown, tilting his head to get a better look at him. Seeing his concerned face snapped something in his worn out mind and his eyes unthinkingly welled up with tears that he tried to quickly rub away. But Sanghyeok’s already caught on before he buried his face into his arm and the grip tightened on his shoulder.

 “H-hey, what is it, what’s wrong?” he asked with a sense of urgency and leaned down further.

“It’s nothing, I’m just tired,” he replied, his voice muffled by his sleeves. He turned away from Sanghyeok’s alarmed face and berated himself for his undue breakdown.

“It’s not nothing. Did something happen?” Sanghyeok enquired, worry etched into his voice. And Wangho didn’t know what egged him on to actually voice his question out aloud but he did.

“Hyung…do you like Bengi-hyung better than me?”

“Huh?”

“Do you think he’s better than me…”

“…Where is this coming from?” he asked, suddenly sounding withdrawn. Wangho felt the same frustration build up and shook his head before abruptly standing up.

“Nevermind, forget I asked anything. Let’s go back,” he sighed out and trudged out the practice room. Sanghyeok didn’t move until he was out the door and he felt his stare boring into his back the entire time.

 

∞∞∞

 

The episode wasn’t brought up again by either of them and they continued their life the same as before. He, of course, felt mortified at the questions he raised the next day when he was better rested. And the _tears_. ‘He must think I had a mental breakdown,’ Wangho thought. It was lunch break a day after their match with Kongdoo, which they won, and he went to grab some food with Sungu. He wasn’t so hungry so he had ordered a small dish and finished before him. Watching the other jungler eat, it dawned on him that Sungu was the only one who was still in constant contact with Bengi over Kakao. He hesitated before scraping up the courage to ask.

“Sungu, what kind of person was Bengi-hyung?” he asked.

 “Seongung-hyung? Didn’t you guys know each other?” Sungu asked, his face still buried in his food.

“Yeah, but I never had the chance to really get to know him.”

“Hmm…he was a really good sunbae, I suppose. Not the most outspoken or social but he was just very gentle with everything. He actually got along the best with Duke-hyung and coach, probably ‘cause they were closet to his age or something”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, he was the most mature out of all of us. Except perhaps when MaRin-hyung was in the team but I wouldn’t know about that.”

“How was he with Sanghyeok-yi hyung?” he asked, looking down at his food. Sungu looked at him curiously before shrugging.

“They got along fine? Are you asking because of…you know, your recent performance with Sanghyeok-yi hyung?”

“Ah…yeah, kind of.”

“I can give you Seongung-hyung’s contact if you want. If you have any questions you want to ask or something,” Sungu offered.

“No, no, it’s fine. It should be fine,” Wangho quickly refused, standing up to pay at the counter before Sungu could ask any more questions. Besides, he could only imagine where that conversation would go. He shuddered at the thought and walked out the restaurant, Sungu hurrying out after him.

“Hey, things will pick up,” Sungu said, his eyes trained on the ground. “Just look at how long it took me to perform. I think it was almost the whole of spring split of 2016.”

“Thanks,” he smiled and nudged him with his shoulders to show his acknowledgement.

 “Besides, your big brother Sungu’s here to pick up the slack whenever,” Sungu replied with a smirk.

 “Hah! As if I’d let you,” he retorted, playfully pushing him into the sidewalk. They tussled back and forth the whole way back and came back just in time for the afternoon scrims and Wangho sat down on his chair, a little more motivated than before.

 

∞∞∞

 

They still had yet to lose more than 1 match in Week 8. Afreeca Freecs gave them a run for their money but they managed to snatch two wins against them and BBQ. It was a good week and they had 4 days until the next match so they were given a day to recuperate. The days were getting warm enough by the end of March that Wangho had to switch out some of his winter clothes for his summer clothes.

 

It was a bright day without a speck of cloud and he miraculously managed to wake up before 10. And SKT being SKT, all of them were still sleeping by the time he came out of the gaming house. He had his mind set on that café he stumbled upon the first week he’d joined his current team. He came to frequent it whenever he had time (at first, it was out of hope that he’ll run into Sanghyeok at one point until he genuinely became attached to the place) and it was the destination for whenever he’d had to sort through his thoughts. He got his order and chose the seat by the window where plenty of light was shining through. It was still chilly enough that the sunlight felt good and warm against his skin. He leaned forward and stretched out his arms over the small coffee table before slumping down on it, his fingertips just hanging over the edge. He observed the scarce passerby before he felt his eyelids getting heavier and he eventually drifted off, reveling in the daylight that warmed his face.

 

It couldn’t have been long and he didn’t know what exactly woke him up, but opened his eyes with his arm feeling a little numb from having its circulation cut off by his head. He shifted around, trying to find a more comfortable position. When he turned his head in his arms, his eyes still filmy, he saw a pair of legs covered in black sweatpants with the SKT logo printed on it. His eyes traveled up and his landed on the spectacled face of Sanghyeok who met his eyes evenly.

“Hyung? You were already up?” he asked, trying to shake away the sleep.

“Yeah, didn’t know you still come here,” Sanghyeok replied, settling down on the chair opposite him.

“It’s a nice place.”

“For sleeping?” he asked, the corner of his lips pulling up.

“I didn’t mean to! I just woke up early, and the sun was so nice,” he retorted, running his hands over on the coffee table that was still doused in sunlight to prove his point.

“What are you, a cat?” Sanghyeok asked, his eyes crinkling as he grinned.

“Whatever,” he huffed out, resting his chin back on the table.

“Go back to sleep. I’ll keep quiet and just read,” he said, holding up a book that Wangho didn’t know he was carrying.

 “Hmm…” Wangho brought his arms back up and crossed it on the table to cushion his head. A comfortable silence went by with only an occasion sound of Sanghyeok turning over a page or sipping his drink. Wangho carefully peeked at him, subtly turning his head towards his direction.

He was leaning his back against the window instead of the chair with one of his legs propped up. His bed hair was non-existent this morning (he assumed he showered because there is no way the gravity-defying bed hair would go down on its own) and he looked very much at peace. The sunlight poured in from behind him, emphasizing the shadows of his face that sharpened his jaws and cheekbones. Sanghyeok’s face was admittedly not outright handsome or attractive but there was unknown quality to it, at least to Wangho, that made him want to see, read and relish every fine expression he makes. He stared mindlessly until he realized he could feel his heart speed up and thump loudly against the coffee table. He quickly turned away to face the window again, hiding his face from Sanghyeok. He suppressed the incessant urge to turn around and look again and squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself to doze off.

 

∞∞∞

 

The two of them spent 2 hours there before Wangho suggested they go back to the gaming house for lunch. Sanghyeok has wordlessly agreed and the two walked back only to find the gaming house noisy and crowded. Everyone was out in the living room and even the SKT manager and coach were hanging around in the kitchen. They made their way in with Sanghyeok trailing behind him.

“What’s going on?” Wangho asked, having had to raise his voice to make himself heard.

“Hey, you guys are back,” Jaewan greeted. “Seungung-hyung is coming to visit this week.”

“And just about time!” exclaimed Sungu from behind him. Wangho felt himself freeze in his tracks and glanced at Sanghyeok from the corner of his eyes. He didn’t seem so perturbed as he slumped onto the couch next to Profit and didn’t comment on the news. He didn’t know why he felt so alarmed, it wasn’t like he had anything with Sanghyeok to begin with to be upset. He forced himself to smile neutrally as Junsik and Sungu started rattling off what they could with Seongungung hyung once he comes over. He felt unjustified jealously well up inside him and he swallowed it all down, just praying that he can keep it or the duration of the previous jungler's stay. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY with some plot progress. I tried to match up the dates for LPL and LCK but it was hard…so I kind of played around with it :333
> 
> And I SWEAR I’ll be nice to Wangho from now on, please don’t hate me T^T

Bengi visited in Week 9 for 3 days. Apparently he had a 4-day break until his next match and was staying with the coach. kkOma was happy to give them a break for half the day after their win against Long Zhu and allow them to spend some time with their long-time jungler. Wangho, no matter how much he wanted to avoid it, couldn’t back out of the dinner all of them were having together tonight without being outright rude. Their practice and scrims ended at 5 and they were gathering at a family restaurant where they were supposed to meet the head coach along with Bengi. He couldn’t help but keep glancing at Sanghyeok’s direction to see his reactions but it was almost disturbing how there was such a lack of change from his usual resting face. Did they already sort things out? From the two conversations he’s overheard, shouldn’t seeing Bengi be at least a bit distressing?

His train of thought was disrupted when a chorus of loud greetings surrounded him. He turned around and saw Bengi approaching them with a wave and a grin that set the dimples deep into his cheeks.

“Hyung~!” Sungu called out, running towards him and hugging him with a force that made him lose his balance. The rest of them waited with big grins on their faces and when they came close, Junsik grabbed Bengi’s hands, claiming that he’s not allowed to go back to China. Wangho, Seunghoon, Haneul and Profit all hung back and either waved or bowed at the jungler, none of them quite familiar with each other to be completely casual.  In the midst of it all, Sanghyeok hovered around the tight circle that was Bengi, kkOma, Sungu, Junsik and Jaewan with a simple content and awkward smile.

“Long time no see,” Bengi greeted, his hands clasping Jaewan’s shoulders and his smile now directed at Sanghyeok.

 “Yeah, long time no see,” Sanghyeok replied, still keeping his distance but that gentle smile of his (the one that Wangho always craved to be on the receiving end) in place. Wangho turned away from the scene, his smile already feeling too forced on his face. They made their way in to the restaurant and the table soon filled with stories about the beginning years of SKT.

“And that interview, Sanghyeok-ah, what was it that you said? ‘I think whichever team that has me will win’?” kkOma asked over the table, his face like a doting parent.

“Hah! Such a cocky rookie,” Profit laughed out.

"Well, we did win that year,” Sanghyeok pointed out, not even a little bit abashed at his comment in the 2013 Worlds.

“Ah, I couldn’t handle your arrogance back then. The worst thing was that his arrogance was more often than not justified,” Bengi commented, shaking his head. “So how’s jungling besides the great-Sanghyeok, Wangho?”

“Oh,” Wangho let out, startled at the unexpected question. “Uh, not as demanding as I thought…He makes very, you know, human mistakes sometimes.”

“Are you talking about his Zilean game? The one where you asked for his ult and he was just like ‘No, no, I don’t have it’,” asked Junsik, snickering as he remembered the particular game.

“Didn’t he _still_ get the MVP that game? I swear, OGN should ditch their favoritism,” Seunghoon complained. The dinner continued with the amiable conversations and it was easier than Wangho thought; with Junsik and Seunghoon’s clowning around, he had plenty of distractions. The dinner concluded before 10pm and Bengi demanded that he had to get some rest after his travels, the exhaustion clear on his face.

“Alright, let’s break it off for today. You guys also go back and scrim, practice is going to go on as normal tomorrow,” kkOma announced. “Seongung’s going to go visit his family tomorrow but he’ll be back the night before his flight so you guys can say your goodbyes then.”  

“Make sure you visit before you leave again~” Junsik called out, waving him off. Bengi has already turned around and waved with his back turned to them.

“Ahh, it was nice seeing him again,” Jaewan said watching as coach and Bengi walked away.

“Yeah,” Sanghyeok agreed in a quiet voice.

“Aight! Time to go back and practice our asses off again, do we have streaming today on our schedule?” Junsik asked, yawning loudly, draped his arm over Sanghyeok and sauntered off towards the practice room. The rest of them followed and Wangho tagged along behind Haneul and Sungu.

‘I don’t understand,’ he thought, ‘if they worked things out, does that mean that they are…together? But they didn’t seem like it…’ He screamed internally and felt as if a 1-ton rock was resting on his chest. He spread his fingers over his chest, feeling a dull ache spread out making his chest feel like the muscles were slowly cramping.

‘Ah…this feels familiar.’

 

∞∞∞

 

Bengi came to visit for the last time 2 days later, late in the night. Their coach left after feedback right away, informing them that Bengi will be staying in the gaming house for tonight. All of them were in the practice room, some of them still playing, some of them conversing with Bengi.

“Are you going to be ok with sleeping on the couch?” asked Sungu.

“I’ll be fine, it’s only for one night anyways,” Bengi replied in his amiable voice. Wangho has already given his greetings and exchanged a few words back and forth. He glanced at the clock and cursed when he saw it was nearly 11pm – he wanted to get some coffee at the nearby café before they closed down. He hurried out the practice room, not bothering to say his farewells to Bengi, certain that he’ll be back before he leaves. He arrived just 5 minutes before they closed down, short in breath, and smiled apologetically at the baristas when he placed his order.

He grabbed his drink soon after and took his time walking back, sipping contently at his warm drink. He was so lost in his own thoughts, he almost didn’t catch Sanghyeok and Bengi just outside the building of their practice room. He screeched to a halt and almost instinctually searched for a place to hide. He felt awkward being with Bengi alone, he didn’t want to experience how awkward it’ll be with just the three of them. He whirled around a full 360 degrees and cursed when he couldn’t find a proper cover. He started towards the direction he came but doubled around when he caught a movement from the corner of his eyes.He felt his throat close and heart squeeze painfully when he saw them embrace, Sanghyeok’s back towards him. His face was buried into the crook of Bengi’s neck with his arms wrapped tightly around his shoulder. Bengi’s hands hesitantly wrapped around the other’s back and his chin rested on the scrunched up shoulders. He felt his heart ache, ache, ache and he didn’t even have it in him to act surprised when his eyes met Bengi’s over Sanghyeok’s shoulders. He saw the other jungler’s eyes widen before he turned away and just started walking. Before he knew it, his pace fastened into a jog then to a run and he ran until he couldn’t tell whether the pain in his chest was because of oxygen shortage or his heart splintering away.  

 

∞∞∞

 

Wangho breathed out the cold night air of March as he looked around the unfamiliar neighborhood. He had run for as long as he could until he felt as if his lungs were on fire and he couldn’t find it in himself to return to the practice room or the gaming house. He had gone his way without paying any attention to where he was and he berated himself at his own stupidity. He walked on for few more minutes before he saw a gate to an apartment complex with a name that he recognized.  He fished for his wallet and took out the business card that kkOma handed to him a couple weeks back. He sighed out in relief when he saw the same apartment complex name scribbled on the business card. He made his way in, searching for the right building. It was near the gate and soon, he was standing in front of his coach’s home. He felt strange standing there and hesitated before pressing the numbers in.

‘He did say it was ok…,’ he thought and cautiously pushed the door when the security lock beeped open. He stepped in and saw the light turned on somewhere around the corner but couldn’t hear anything.

“Coach?” he called out softly, not wanting to wake kkOma up in case he was asleep. He took off his shoes and gingerly stepped into the house, looking around for any sign of his coach. “Coach? Are you ho-”

And what he saw right then, right there, was something he _wished_ he could bleach out from his head. His widened eyes had caught his coach (his beloved, respectable, _forever single and unmarried_ coach) looming over MaRin against an island kitchen table, shirtless, trapping him in between. One of his hands grabbed the edge of the table and his other hand was slipped under the other’s shirt. His leg was pushed in between MaRin’s and his head tilted against his neck. Wangho stood their frozen, his mouth gaping and it only took a second for kkOma to realize that he and MaRin had company (that they frankly traumatized because honestly, it was like catching your parents doing it).

“Wai-, Wangho, this isn’t-, it’s not-“ kkOma stuttered out, pushing himself off of MaRin. The latter whipped around as well, his eyes widening and face turning scarlet. Wangho _still_ couldn’t move and just stared at his coach.

“Um…So…” he coughed out, “Ehem, I…I’m sorry? For intruding. I’ll..just go…now.” He started stepping back when kkOma called out.

“Wait, wait, Wangho, please wait! Just hang on a second, let me explain.”

“O-ok?” Wangho stumbled out, turning back around but avoided looking at the two at all cost.

“Just sit on the couch, I’ll be out in a second,” kkOma said and disappeared somewhere. Wangho, his brain still flurrying, sat himself down onto the couch. He was still trying to process the last 5 minutes when he saw a glass of water pushed towards him. He looked up and saw MaRin, offering him the glass with a gentle smile.

“T-thank you,” he said, taking the glass.

“No problem. I’m sorry you had to see that,” MaRin replied, sitting down beside him. “It’s...a rather long story.”

“Hey, sorry for the wait,” kkOma quipped in, coming out into the living room, with a shirt on this time thankfully. He dragged the chair from the kitchen and set it near the couch, angled towards Wangho. Awkward silence dragged by, and he could only glance back and forth between the two of them. He cleared his throat once again, unsure of how to proceed.

“So…you two are..a, thing?” he asked. MaRin and kkOma shared a look before kkOma started.

“Frankly speaking, yes. We..are a ‘thing’ as you say. But you realize why we are reluctant for anybody to know…Gyeonghwan being a pro-player and me being a coach. And what’s more, he used to be in SKT so you can only imagine what the media will take away from that. Before all of this, man dating man is one of the worst kind of taboos in Korea still.”

Wangho nodded along, tons of question still whirling in his head.

“We weren’t together while I was in SKT if you were wondering,” MaRin offered, searching his face. “Neither of us wanted to risk our careers.”

“If you have any questions, we are happy to answer them the best we can,” kkOma added.

“How long was…how long has it been since, you know,” Wangho trailed off, feeling embarrassed at asking such a question to his coach.

“Not long at all. Gyeonghwan was in China the whole of last year and it was only when he came back to Korea this year,” kkOma answered, trying not to look abashed himself. Another awkward silence went by before he realized he probably was encroaching on one of the rare times the two of them get together.

“Ah, I should be going…I’m sorry to have barged in,” he quickly stood up, ready to walk out.

“Wait, you must have come here for a reason, did something happen?” kkOma stopped him, his worrisome, carrying-parent expression and tone back with full force.

“It’s nothing.”

“Wangho, I know when you’re lying” kkOma retaliated, looking at him with a stern face.

“Fine,” he sighed out, “it’s something…I just really didn’t want to go back to the gaming house tonight.”

“Then that’s fine, you can just crash here, I’ve got an extra bedroom.”

“No, no, I’d be intruding…Gyeonghwan-hyung is here as well so…”

“It’s alright, I have to head back to my own gaming house anyways. I can drive back,” Gyeonghwan said with a reassuring smile, already grabbing his keys and his coat.

“Ah-wait, are you sure?” Wangho asked, feeling flustered.

“Just stay here, I’ll see Gyeonghwan back into the parking lot, I’ll be right back,” said kkOma with a tone that suggested that the conversation was done. He quietened down and sat back down onto the couch, still feeling guilty while kkOma led Gyeonghwan out with his hand gently placed on the small of his back. kkOma leaned in just before the front door closed behind them to whisper something into Gyeonghwan’s ear that made him smile prettily. Wangho quickly turned away but his face reddened at having witnessed an intimate moment.

He groaned as he stretched out on the couch, mentally worn out at all the happenings that went on today. He only just began wrapping his head around the fact that his coach was dating the previous SKT top laner.

‘Perhaps he knew about Bengi-hyung and Sanghyeok-yi hyung?’ he wondered, but decided not to pry, at least for tonight, as he felt the stinging sensation return in his chest area. He’s already had had enough for today. He heard the security lock beep and sat up, watching as kkOma walked back in with a sheepish smile.

“I’ve been lied to. How could you, coach,” he demanded jokingly as kkOma sat back down on the couch next to him.

“Ahhh…I suppose it’s a pretty big news,” he admitted, rubbing his face.

“We’ve _all_ been lied to. Now that meme going around about you forever being single is nothing but fiction!” he exclaimed, laughing and dodging as kkOma made a motion to noogie him in the head. He managed to headlock him and Wangho winced, expecting pain but was surprised when he only felt him ruffle his hair.

“Thanks, Wangho.”

“For what?” he asked, nonplussed at the sudden gratitude.

“For reacting the way you did. You are the first one to know…Other than Gyeonghwan’s coach but he’s both of our close friend.”

“Really? Nobody else?”

“Nobody else,” he repeated, smiling at him.

“Well, your secret’s safe with me,” he replied, cheekily grinning up at his coach. kkOma laughed out loud and Wangho cried out when he felt the painful knuckles digging into his head for reals this time.

After a few more minutes of joking around, he was shown the bathroom and led to the bedroom that was near the front door. Too tired to wash up, he immediately huddled into his temporary bed with kkOma standing at the door, smiling a doting smile at him.

“Whatever is bothering you, you can talk to me about, you know that, right Wangho?” he asked. “Whether it’s about the game or not, I’m always here to listen.”

“Yeah I know…I just need to think about it more to myself before I tell anyone,” he replied, pulling the cover up to his nose.

“Alright, I believe you. Get to sleep and make sure you wake up in time for practice!” he warned, before turning off the light and closing the door behind him. Wangho immediately fell asleep afterwards, both body and mind thoroughly done for the day.

 

∞∞

 

 

The next morning, he was rudely awakened by his phone ringing shrilly. He let out a string of curses at the annoying sound and groggily reached for his phone and answered with a sleep-deprived ‘hello’.

“Wangho-ya~ Come out for a second, I have something to talk to you about,” Junsik’s voice rang through the phone.

“Hyung? I’m over at coach’s apartment. And it’s 9am” he yawned out.

“Yeah, I know, I’m already just down stairs so come hurry out,” Junsik urged.

“Fine, fine,” he groaned out and ended the call. He mumbled groggily, complaining about the call made at an ungodly hour the whole time he slipped on his shoes and trudged downstairs. To his surprise, Junsik and Jaewan were both standing outside, wearing uncharacteristically solemn faces. He cautiously approached them, surveying their faces.

“Why do you both look so serious, what is it?” he asked, feeling perturbed.

“You saw Seongung-hyung and Sanghyeok yesterday, right?” Junsik asked, not wasting any time hitting around the bush.  Wangho was so taken aback that when he opened his mouth to answer, he couldn’t bring himself to say anything.

“Did you or did you not?” demanded Junsik.

“Oi, give the kid some breathing room,” Jaewan warned, resting a hand on Junsik’s shoulder while looking at Wangho expectantly.

“Um…yeah, I saw them. Just outside the gaming house,” he replied, shaking himself out of his stupor. Junsik and Jaewan glanced at each other before Junsik spoke.

“Ok, well…Seongung-hyung told us yesterday night. And he thinks, and we think, that you might have misunderstood.”

“Misunderstood?” Wangho asked, tiliting his head and tried to push down the sliver of hope that was already creeping up.

“Yeah. He said you ran away like a mob of mafia were out to harvest your organs,” replied Junsik, smiling wryly.

“So, we’re here to explain and clean up Sanghyeok’s mess like we always have…ever since Gyeonghwan-hyung left I mean,” added Jaewan.

 “Ughhh, I miss Gyeonghwan-hyung. He was always so much better at this stuff,” complained Junsik, breaking the tense atmosphere.

"You just miss him doing all the dirty work,” smirked Jaewan. Junsik didn’t disagree and shrugged before fixing his gaze back to him.

“So, long story short, what you saw isn’t what it is.”

“I think I need more than that, hyung,” Wangho replied drily, trying not to seem impatient.

“Alright…well, I’ll start from the beginning, I guess. I’ll keep it short” Jaewan started. “As you might have guessed, there _was_ something between Sanghyeok-yi and Seongung-hyung. A one-sided something. Sanghyeok, a stupidass, awkward, teenager back then, confessed to Seongung-hyung without knowing what kind of ruckus that could cause. And hyung being hyung, took it all in a stride, and told him that he couldn’t return his feelings. But that didn’t stop Sanghyeok because he’s stubborn as a bull when he sets his mind on something and this weird thing between the two of them went on for 3 years as far as we know. It was just a sick cycle of Sanghyeok confessing then sulking then Seongung-hyung comforting him. Hyung was too nice to do anything to really let Sanghyeok down for good and it just dragged on until this winter. But something, neither of us know what, set Sanghyeok’s mind straight and he finally sorted things out with hyung. So, to make a clean cut or something, hyung came over to Korea and they got the chance to get some proper closure, face to face. And that’s what you saw happening yesterday.”

“They are both pretty stupid,” Junsik said, rolling his eyes. “Whatever made Sanghyeok do what he did yesterday is god-sent.”

“Suppose it’s both their fault…”Jaewan added but Wangho has already stopped paying attention to their conversation as he processed the information. He tried to swallow down the expectant hope (an unreasonable hope) rising in him.

‘So that means…Sanghyeok-yi hyung doesn’t like him,’ he thought, his heart already pacing. He quickly reprimanded himself at feeling elated – just because he and Seongung wasn’t a thing, doesn’t mean that Sanghyeok liked him back.

“Oi, Wangho, are you even listening?” Jaewan demanded, peering into him.

“Yeah, I am, sorry,” he replied, his eyes still not focusing on them.

“Wangho-ya, why are you smiling?” Junsik asked, looking at him suspiciously.

“Huh? I’m smiling?” he asked, startled, and only realized he was when he felt his mouth with his hands. “Oh shit, I am,” he said without thinking. He saw Jaewan and Junsik share a bewildered look and he pushed past them, trying to hide his blush.

“Come on, let’s go back, coach will be mad if we’re late.”

 

∞∞∞

 

He headed back to the gaming house together with Junsik and Jaewan and they arrived just in time to bid their final farewells to Bengi. He already had his luggage out and his cab called. Wangho hung back as Junsik and Jaewan said their goodbyes and Bengi sent them off with claps on their backs. When both of them went inside the gaming house, he finally turned towards Wangho and gave him a rueful smile.

“Junsik told me that they explained everything to you.”

“Yeah, they did,” he said, feeling guilty at having misunderstood the other jungler so thoroughly. “I’m sorry for assuming things.”

“Don’t say sorry for something like that,” Seongung said, shaking off the apology. They both jumped when the cab driver knocked at the window, signaling Seongung to get in. “Alright, I should go.”

Wangho nodded and stepped back to allow him to step into the cab, but Seongung stopped before he opened the cab door and looked at him.

“Sanghyeok’s a good kid. Although I don’t agree with him much. If you’re having problems communicating with him in-game, you should talk to him about it, he’ll react better than you think,” he advised. “Also, better luck dealing with him in the future. Outside the game that is.” He shot him a mischievous smile that he never seen from the jungler himself and before he could ask for any clarification, the cab drove off, leaving him standing there, perplexed once again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’M SORRY. I recently moved back to Korea for the summer and I’ve been so busy suddenly. My whole day is pretty much gone after the class I’m taking + the housework (because I’m the only one who does all the cleaning and cooking and buying despite living together with my sister *rolls eyes*) and then I have homework and review to go through for this language efficiency test I have in August T^T I pass out around 1am. BUT I WILL ENDURE because I really want to finish this.
> 
> A bit more kkOma and MaRin coming your way because I really like MaRin (sorry if the bias comes through). I have made them a sickly romantic couple, I’m sorry but I can’t imagine it any other way :333
> 
> I have about 2 more fic ideas I want to do but let's see whether I even have the time :')

  _Last week_

 

Junggyun hurried out the gaming house after leaving Seongung in the trustworthy (?) hands of his players. He broke out into a jog midway and was sweating despite the cold night air by the time he arrived at his house. He took a moment to take a breather before he opened the door and smiled when he saw the familiar shoes neatly put away by the door step. He haphazardly toed off his own and headed into the kitchen where he knew Gyeonghwan would be making his coffee, humming some unknown tune. When he turned the corner, he saw the other leaning against the kitchen island with his back turned, not yet aware of his presence and he tiptoed towards him in an attempt to surprise him.

“You’re early today,” Gyeonghwan commented, turning his head around and lifting his eyebrow when he caught him in a mid-creep.

“Damn it, it never works on you,” he complained but grinned nonetheless. He took off his jacket and draped it over the chair and made his way around the kitchen to the previous SKT gamer.

“And yet you try every time. Are you neglecting your coaching duties?” he asked, giving him a peck on his cheek before turning around the boil the water.

“Of course not, I just wanted to see you as soon as possible.”

“Go shower already, I’ll have your coffee made,” replied Gyeonghwan. His back was towards him but he could still hear the smile in his voice. He felt his insides warm and although he knew Gyeonghwan will complain, he placed a gentle kiss against his nape and hurried into the bathroom before he could receive his retribution.

 

When he came out of the shower, he breathed in the aromatic coffee smell spreading throughout the kitchen and trudged towards it as a possessed person would. He wrapped his hand around the mug, took a sip and sank into the high chair.

“I swear you make the best coffee,” he exhaled, setting the mug down and looking up at Gyeonghwan who stood standing across the kitchen island.

“That opinion is probably biased,” he replied, flicking his forehead from across the table. Junggyun caught his hand before he could pull away and entwined their fingers together, admiring for the hundredth time how they fit together so perfectly. He pulled at their linked hands which had the other lean down on the table with his elbow.

“How was your day today?” the toplaner asked, running his free hand through his wet hair.

“Same old, same old. I was expecting more tension between Sanghyeok-yi and Seoungung but I may have missed something,” he answered, closing his eyes at the comforting touch.

“You’re underestimating how much they’ve matured. They probably sorted things out between them.”

“I hope so,” he sighed out, remembering how much both of his players went through.

“Do they _still_ not know that you know everything?” Gyeonghwan asked, disbelief clear in his voice.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “Clueless still. I’m starting to feel guilty.”

“You should tell them,” Gyeonghwan said, clucking his tongue at him.

“After all this time of keeping quiet? I can’t do that.”

“That’s why I told you to tell them the moment you found out,” he rebuked with a stern expression.

“Nothing I can do about it now,” he shrugged and laughed as Gyeonghwan rolled his eyes at him. He downed the mug, wincing slightly as it burned the roof of his mouth and stood up to put it in the kitchen sink. “Enough about my cute little disciples. How was your day?”

“I’m a pro-gamer, how different can my days get?” he said, turning around to face him again.

“Preach, preach.”

“Please, it seems like you had enough time to go to the gym again these days,” Gyeonghwan remarked, nodding towards his bare chest. “Are you sure you aren’t neglecting your cute little disciples just to go work out?”

He looked down at his own upper body at his boyfriend’s observation. He has made it his 2017 new year’s resolution to exercise again and he was amazed at how well and how long he managed to keep the new year’s resolution.

“Hmm? Well I’m getting old you know, got to take care of my body and make sure I don’t fall behind,” he said, smiling a little guiltily when Gyeonghwan frowned at the mention of his age. 6 years wasn’t _that_ big of an age gap but Gyeonghwan always disliked him joking around with aging (which he didn’t really get because _he_ was the older one). “And I have to keep up the image for you too you know,” he added, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I don’t think I have ever asked you to get a six pack,” Gyeonghwan retorted, but he (not so subtly) hid his face behind the mug he was still holding to hide his face reddening. He felt a warm glow in his chest like he always did with so many of his little behaviors and perks and the urge to tease him grew.

“Hey, hey, don’t avoid looking at me, then all my hard work would have been for nothing,” he whined teasingly, leaning in. Gyeonghwan whipped his face away from him and stepped back. He let out a quiet laugh when he saw the other’s eyes widen when he bumped into the kitchen island with no more space to escape. He gently took away the cup in Gyeonghwan’s hands and set it on the table before trapping him against the table with his hands on either side. He slid his hands underneath the other’s shirt and spread his fingers across the bare stomach, moving it up slowly. He couldn’t help but grin against the other’s neck when he heard the little involuntary gasp and pressed his lips up the pale neck, sliding his knee in between his legs. He was about to lean down for a kiss when his eyes caught something in the background that was strangely shaped like another human being.

And he felt his heart lurch when his eyes met poor, poor Wangho’s horrified eyes. It felt like he had somehow committed all of the seven sins in the current 10 seconds while he froze in his position, petrified (at least he knew for sure now that he was going to hell). Millions of possible outcomes flood into his brain but the only thing that came out was “Wai-, Wangho, this isn’t-, it’s not-.” He mentally face-palmed at himself as he felt Gyeonghwan turn around in surprise. And Wangho turned around as well in broken movements with a stuttered “Um…So…Ehem, I…I’m sorry? For intruding. I’ll..just go…now.”

His brain finally managed to catch up to him and he called out after Wangho, begging him to stay so he could explain. He quickly went into his room and began rummaging for a shirt, cursing himself for not hearing the door open. It took him a while to find a clean shirt and mentally making a note to do the laundry soon, he stepped out and saw Wangho and Gyeonghwan sitting awkwardly together on the couch. He’d have laughed if not for the situation and dragged the kitchen chair and set it opposite Gyeonghwan, facing Wangho. He admonished his carelessness once again when he saw him avoiding looking at him or the previous SKT member before he stumbled out a question, asking whether they were a ‘thing’.

And so went by the next 15 minutes of explaining. He felt a surge of affection for the flustered Wangho when he asked how long they’ve been together out of all the questions he could’ve asked (all deity bless the precious thing). When the 20-year-old let out a hasty apology and tried to excuse himself out, he snapped out of his thought process and caught him before he could run away.

“Wait, you must have come here for a reason, did something happen?” he asked, his paternal instincts in full force.

“It’s nothing.”

“Wangho, I know when you’re lying,” he said, expecting the reply, and fixed a look at him.

“Fine, it’s something…I just really don’t want to go back to the gaming house tonight,” the jungler replied, looking rather exhausted. He decided not to push it any further and ensured that he’ll be staying the night before leading Gyeonghwan out.

“I think I handled that pretty well,” he whispered into the other’s ear drily, before closing the door behind them. He breathed out a big sigh as the toplaner chuckled. “I think that’s what it’d have been like giving your kid ‘the talk’,” he huffed out.

“Hmm, it’s always better to get practice,” he said, looking at him with an amused smile. “But that was pretty embarrassing, let’s not that happen again.”

“Sorry about that,” he apologized, scratching the back of his head. They walked back to the parking lot and it took only a minute, to his disappointment, to find the toplaner’s car.

“Wangho looked pretty upset,” Gyeonghwan remarked as he closed the car door with the windows rolled down. “Take better care of your players.”

“I will, I will,” he admitted ruefully. He quickly surveyed the parking lot before leaning down and tilted the other’s head upwards gently by the chin through the window. He closed the distance and pressed his lips against the soft ones of Gyeonghwan’s. It started out a chaste peck but (like everything of Gyeonghwan’s) he wanted more and he pulled him closer, his hands at the back of his neck. He slid his tongue across the other’s lower lip, tasting the coffee he drank earlier and felt the other lean in closer as he teased his lips open.

He lost track of time before they broke apart, both feeling a little flustered and short of breath. Seeing him with his lips wet and swollen from the kiss made him impossibly more desirable but before he could do anything, Gyeonghwan pushed him away gently with a hand on his chest.

“You have somewhere to be,” he reminded him, leaning back on the driver’s seat. “I’ll come visit again and next time, make sure you can _finish_ what you’ve started,” he finished, giving him a secretly devious smile before pulling out of the parking spot.

“That tease,” he muttered, watching the car drive away, feeling more smitten than he was just a minute ago. He stared after the fading car before shaking himself back into the present and hurried back to his house where his dear, little jungler needed him.

 

∞∞∞

 

_Pesent Day_

 

Week 9 and 10 went by swiftly for the SKT crew. Wangho himself felt he was doing better and ever since the incident last week with his coach and Gyeonghwan, the previous SKT top-laner would always greet him with a warm smile and buy him coffee whenever he got the chance because he was nice like that (unlike his own team’s toplaner). The only downside if he had to pick one was that he had to catch himself from smiling like a mindless idiot whenever he remembered what Junsik and Jaewan explained to him last week. He was dying to know everything from Sanghyeok’s perspective but he was more than willing to forego it, knowing that the other didn’t like Seoungung. He would have normally been stumped that Sanghyeok didn’t like him back but after the weeks of heartaches and depressingly self-pitying moments, he was good with Sanghyeok not liking someone else (baby steps, he told himself, baby steps).

If there was another thing, Seoungung’s warning last week about dealing with Sanghyeok outside the game seems to be unnervingly on point. He had no idea why but he found himself in the presence of the midlaner a lot more frequently. But not in a good way. He’d always be there to interrupt his conversation with whomever he was conversing with (mostly Junsik and Seunghoon, and even the coach sometimes), order him around to get his drink or something he forgot and he’d feel the other staring at him with an intensity high enough to bring him out in a cold sweat. He shuddered as he remembered the gaze perforate him; he’d have thought he pissed the midlaner to the high heavens if he didn’t know better. He felt a twinge of uneasiness when it just occurred to him that he may have unknowingly done so.

‘Was it my plays? How we lost so many scrims? But I’ve been doing so much better recently…’  he thought, racking his brain for any other reasons for Sanghyeok’s behavioral change. It was three days before their last game of spring LCK against MVP.  After the match, they were due for a 5 day break before they start preparing for the finals. It was past 11 and all of SKT were in the practice room, each on their solo-que account. He was clicking away at his screen, playing Lee Sin on his fourth solo-que game of the night and was 20 minutes into the game when he felt cold hands grab his shoulders from behind. He didn’t even have to turn around to see who it was.

“Ah, hyung, your hands are too cold,” he said, wincing and his shoulders scrunching up, his eyes not leaving the screen as he was about to enter a 3 vs. 4 team fight. Never the one to really listen, he felt Sanghyeok grab the back of his neck.

“Hyung! Cold, cold cold!” he exclaimed and in the midst of trying to squirm away from the icy hand and do his share in the team fight, he missed an embarrassing skill shot and he was dead in a second.

“Wangho, what was that, that was so bad,” Sanghyeok commented, his voice full of mirth as he grinned down at him.

“That was totally on you,” he complained, glowering at him and waiting to respawn. He was clicking around on the mini map when he noticed that the hand on his neck has lost its grip and was simply resting there, the only pressure being his fingertips. The unreal iciness of the midlaner’s hands actually felt nice this way. Knowingly or not, Sanghyeok began massaging his neck, applying more pressure where he could feel the knots and Wangho’s heart skipped a beat and then a several more.

‘This is getting a bit dangerous,’ he thought, afraid that the other would be able to feel his pulse. He shied away, pulling his hand away with his own. The midlaner’s hands were impossibly smooth and cold like marble and the only thing that made it seem human were the calluses on his finger pads and the heel of his palms that were most likely from being used on mouse and keyboards almost 24/7. He let his hand linger a bit before sliding it out only to have Sanghyeok grab his hand in his before he could. He tugged his hand and looked up at the midlaner, bemused, when he didn’t let go. Sanghyeok was studying his hand, turning it over in his own, tracing the lines on his palm with his thumb. His thought went straight back to the hot spring incident and he sat there frozen on his chair as the other spread his hand open and measured his hand against his own. It was only when he felt the other curl his fingers around his that he snapped out of his daze and snatched his hand away.  He didn’t say anything or look away from his screen (or breathed) until he heard Sanghyeok’s footsteps fade away. He lost that game disastrously and he blamed it fully on Sanghyeok.

 

∞∞∞

 

Such occurrences happened again more than once or twice to Wangho’s despair. He almost began to resent Sanghyeok – even though he knew that he couldn’t possibly have any intentions behind what he does or say, it was torture to him. It felt like he was being teased to getting his hopes up and he was desperately trying not to. And he was almost certain that Sanghyeok did indeed have a problem with him and his plays in-game. He began stressing even more about his performance and although he still performed reasonably well in matches, he was mentally pushed to the brink. He couldn’t figure out for the life of him what he was exactly doing wrong and feeling that your midlaner has it out for you (when you also happen to be in love with him) takes a lot out of you.

The game with MVP was looming closer and their afternoon was still full of scrim and practice games. In one particular scrim, he managed to get distracted at a crucial moment that ultimately lost them a dragon and a team fight. They lost the game when they shouldn’t have and they were flooding out the practice room for a break afterwards when Sanghyeok caught his wrist before he could.

“Hey, what was that just now?” he asked, a little crease appearing between his eyebrows.

“I know I screwed up,” he replied sharply, pulling his wrist away. He hurried out before the conversation could continue. He felt guilt well up inside him, knowing it was wrong of him to raise his voice against Sanghyeok. But he just didn’t want to admit it to him that he was under-performing out of all people. And ironically, all he really wanted to do was just have him hug him and tell him that he’s doing well and everything is going to be ok.

 

∞∞∞

 

Fortunately, they won their match against MVP and they remained at the top in the spring split, and destined to face whoever could make it through the play offs several days from now. Despite the split having ended (except the finals) and having a 5-day break ahead of him, he still felt tense. Desperate to shake the feeling off, he agreed to go out drinking with Junsik, Seunghoon, and Haneul the night of their win against MVP. The rest, excluding Sanghyeok, had gone back to stay with their family for most of the break. They chose a bar near their gaming house and practice room and they chatted, ate and drank. They only managed to go at it for 2 hours before all of them were too tired to continue.  Despite not being completely without inhibitions like the first time he drank with the SKT members, he was still inebriated enough that Junsik was reluctant to leave him alone when he stated that he’s going to stay behind in the practice room longer. He heard him grumble distantly as he went up to the practice room with him but he left quicker than he’s ever seen Junsik go anywhere when they saw Sanghyeok still in the practice room, craning his neck to look back at them, taken aback. Silence ticked by before Sanghyeok turned around fully in his chair.

 “Had a fun night out?” he asked, pulling up his bare feet on the chair. Wangho was just about intoxicated enough to remember but not care about the tension between them.

“Mhmm~,” he hummed his answer, nodding with exaggerated enthusiasm, walking into the practice room. The light in the room was mostly turned off, save for a couple but it was still dim enough that the computer screen lit up Sanghyeok’s face. “You should’ve joined us.”

“You know I don’t drink.”

“Such a bore, Sanghyeokyi-hyung~” he complained to which the latter raised his eyebrows before breaking out into a grin.

“I should’ve. I’ve heard so many interesting things the last time you got drunk, I could’ve heard a lot more if I went,” he commented, feigning regret.

“Uuugh, don’t bring that up,” he pleaded before he remembered. “I haven’t got your sign yet you know.”

“Haha! What’s up with that,” Sanghyeok laughed out, his eyes crinkling up and Wangho felt warm inside like he did whenever it was him who made him laugh like that. He felt a sudden surge of affection for him that filled his chest to the brink, making his breath catch in his throat. He stood there looking at the midlaner and maybe, he could blame it on the alcohol, he could blame it on the tension that was built up the whole season, but in the end, there was nothing that warranted what came out of his mouth afterwards.

“I like you.”

“What?”

“I said, I like you, hyung.”

Sanghyeok fell silent and it was the following deafening silence that made him register what he’s just said. He felt himself turn cold and panic started welling up inside him as his eyes widened.

“I-, f-forget that, alright, forget I said anything, I’m sorry,” he mumbled out before staggering out the practice room, regret and dejection filling him. He began running out the building, trying to keep his balance, the alcohol not helping any. He was just about to run past the building when the cold hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him back. He turned around and saw a slightly out of breath Sanghyeok, still bare feet, looking at him with an expression he couldn’t define.

“What are you doing, you’re bare fe-,” he started only to be cut off.

“What did you say,” he demanded, looking at him hard in the eye. Wangho tried to recoil away, not ready to deal with what he has stupidly blurted out.

“Nothing, I didn’t say anything,” he denied, still trying to pull away.

“I said, what did you say,” he repeated, not showing any sign of letting go.

“Nothing! Forget it! I’m drunk, you don’t-.”

“Wait, you’re drunk?” Sanghyeok exclaimed, his grip tightening around his wrist that he winced at the force. He didn’t say anything back to him and only nodded. He heard him let out a great sigh before letting go his wrist and looking at him still with an expression he couldn’t place. “Don’t go anywhere and wait here.”

With that, he started trudging back into the practice room (bare feet) and Wangho waited, too stunned and inexplicably scared to do anything else. Sanghyeok came back out with his shoes on and the rest of his belongings before he wordlessly walked past Wangho to the gaming house, obviously expecting him to follow. They arrived, still not a word spoken between them, nearing 3am.

“Get some sleep,” the midlaner said and Wangho jumped at the unexpected voice and nodded silently. Without looking at him, he walked through the living room to his room and when he heard the door close, Wangho felt numb. He pushed his door open, changed into his PJs, washed up and laid down in his bed, just going through the motions. He felt taxed and before the melancholy could swallow him, he let sleep overtake him.

 

∞∞∞

 

The next morning was quite the familiar experience. He woke up groaning with a headache that was only slightly better than his first hang over in the SKT gaming house. He took small gratitude in that his insides seemed to be faring well and he didn’t feel the urge to regurgitate food from his stomach. He groaned out aloud as his head throbbed particularly painfully and carefully rolled out of bed in search for those pills that seemed to cure his hangover perfectly. He stepped out of his room, and thanked once again, whoever it was that liked the curtains closed. He stumbled into the kitchen but stopped in his track when he saw Sanghyeok, in his white t-shirt and black sweats, sitting in the high chair at the kitchen island, reading a book.

“The pill’s on the table,” he informed him, glancing up only briefly from his book.

“…Thanks,” he replied, almost shamefully taking the pill and swallowing it with a glass of water. He settled down opposite him, waiting for it to take effect. Not 5 minutes past, his head already starting to feel clearer and he let out a small sigh of relief.

“Already working?”

“Yeah.”

“Good,” the midlaner approved. Seconds ticked by and Wangho slowly stood up, unsure of what the protocol was for the morning after when you half-drunkenly profess your love and you awkwardly walk back together to the house they happen to be living together in. He was about to take his leave when his voice stopped him in his tracks.

“What did you say yesterday,” the calm voice asked him and he felt dread spread through him again.

“N-nothing,” he replied, sitting at the very edge of his chair, looking down at the floor.

“What did you say?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Is it that hard to say it again?” Sanghyeok asked and Wangho felt a surge of anger at the question.

“Of course it’s hard!” he shot back, “Do you know how miserable it makes me having to admit, nonetheless tell you that I like-,” he stopped short, realizing what he was about to say once again.

“That what?”

“…that I like you,” he finished, resigning to everything. Jaewan was right, Sanghyeok was as headstrong and stubborn as anybody can get when he set his mind to it and to hell with it, he saw no way of getting out of this any other way. Now all that was left is for him to shoot him down for good, grind his heart to dust and he’ll just have Junsik spread the remains over the ocean or something, that way he-

“I like you.”

“What?” he asked, in an almost comical rendition of last night’s conversation.

“I said, I like you too, Wangho-ya.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the great reaction to the last chapter!!! I’m blessed :333 I’m actually dissatisfied with how I wrote it because I wrote the last..300-500 words while dozing off so I’ll probably edit it again. Not the plot or anything but just little tweaks and there with the wordings and all. 
> 
> And I really wish I can give you guys an update like every day but T^T Sigh, time is a cruel thing. 
> 
> ENJOY (also, it seems like this fic will indeed be 10 chapter long, 11 at the longest)

When Wangho went to watch a live SKT game for the first time in the OGN studio, he had made sure to get the ticket as soon as it came out. He had gone alone, lying to his parents about staying late in school to study and he sat in the second row, right at the center. It was when SKT handedly won their opponents and just before the lights at the stage went dim that he caught Sanghyeok’s eyes for just the second. In that fleeting moment, his heart jumped to his throat, and other than his flushing skin, everything else felt immobilized and he had held on to that silent euphoria bubbling inside him all the way back home.

In the present however, his head and mind were cleaner than the conscience of newborn baby and although he knew how stupid he must look, he just gaped at the midlaner who looked as if he said the most obvious thing in the world. Seconds ticked by, then a minute and Sanghyeok started looking uncomfortable, shifting in place. It was only when he cleared his throat that Wangho came back to his sense enough to close his mouth which was starting to feel dry. He wanted to say something (anything) but his throat felt closed off and he didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or get angry and he just couldn’t bring himself to believe anything he heard from the other’s mouth the past couple of minutes. When he still made no move, Sanghyeok gingerly set his book down, stood up and walked around the table and Wangho instinctively took a step back. Paying no mind to it, he reached for his hand, and gently curled his cold, cold fingers around his wrist and slid down until they were loosely entwined with his.

“Do you need me to say it again?”

“Wha-, no, I don’t –,” he stuttered, startled out of his momentary coma by the question.

“I like you.”

“I said you don’t need t-.”

“I like you.”

“Okay! Okay, I get it, just stop-.”

“I like you,” Sanghyeok repeated, this time with a smile in his voice. Wangho’s face was quite literally fuming and he could feel the heat reach the tip of his ears. He pulled up his free arm in a poor attempt to hid his face behind it (because how could he even bear to look at the midlaner’s face right now?). He felt something close to elation building up in him and it was so big, so unexpected, he was scared that he’d burst along with all this that seemed too good to be true. Sanghyeok adjusted his hand so that he could properly grip his fingers and his other hand moved to try to pull away the arm that was blocking his embarrassingly red face. Wangho gave in at the third tug and let him bring down his arm but his eyes were still fixed on the floor.

“Hey, look at me,” Sanghyeok urged, pulling at his hand a little bit.

“…I can’t.”

“What do you mean you ‘can’t’?”

“How can I after you’ve said all…. that,” he finished lamely, not daring to repeat it word for word.

“Is this going to happen every time I tell you that I like you in the future?” the midlaner asked, and Wangho jerked his head up at the indirect promise of a relationship (damn Sanghyeok and his mind games). The corner of Sanghyeok’s mouth twitched upwards, and he drew at his arms so they were close enough that their foreheads almost touched but not quite.  

“Hey, tell me again,” he demanded, butting his head gently against his.

“…I like you,” he quietly complied, still in disbelief but decided that he could put it away for a moment and spoil himself for a bit in Sanghyeok’s affection.

 

∞∞∞

 

After their sickly sweet love confessions that even he cringed at just hours after, their one week break has officially started. To his (delightful) surprise, Sanghyeok was very open with his affections, not so much in words but in his actions. Even with other SKT members around, he’d use his lap or shoulders as a pillow (sometimes complaining that he’s all bone with no speakable cushion to which Wangho pulled away pointedly and let the other’s head drop onto the hard wooden floor with a painful thud) and rest his chin either on his shoulder or the top of his head with his fingers fiddling at the hem of his clothes. This type of physical interactions wasn’t uncommon at all among any of his teammates but he just felt so much more self-conscious with the midlaner.

The more intimate moments they had that had his heart racing and pitted his will against his body to refrain his face from burning up happened with things that Sanghyeok did out of sight. Things like linking their hands together discreetly while going out for dinner with the rest of the SKT members, or planting a small kiss at the bottom of his neck while leaning against his back, pretending to be dozing off while playing card games at night with their teammates (these happened in the first two days, who knows what the crafty midlaner can come up with given a few more days). He still fought with the sense of doubt that this was happening but Sanghyeok would always chase it away with the mindless acts of affection, a soft “I like you” that he seemed to be so fond of saying.

It was the third night of the break when he decided that he needed to talk to someone about this to make it seem less surreal. He mulled over the idea for minutes in his room before he purposefully dialed Kyungho’s number and felt himself getting nervous as the signal went out.

“Yoooo~, Wangho! It’s been a while,” rang Kyungho’s cheerful voice through the phone and Wangho smiled at the pure ball of positive energy that is Kyungho.

“Hyung! Congratulations for making it through the gauntlet. Ready to face me in the finals?”

“More than ready, you brat,” Kyungho retorted in his taunting voice before he softened. “So what’s going on with you? You don’t call that often.”

“Uh, yeah, I actually have something to tell you,” he cleared his throat, suddenly filled with worry that Kyungho might not react well. “I’m…dating someone.”

“What?! When did this happen? With who?!” Kyungho cried out with a very obvious grin and he swallowed whatever anxiety he had.

“With Sanghyeokyi-hung.”

And without missing a beat, came the reply: “About time! I still remember you thirsting after Sanghyeok-yi while we were still in ROX. I see you finally caught your prey.”

“Wait, you’re not surprised by any of this? Not the fact that I like a …dude and not the fact that I’m dating Sanghyeokyi-hyung out of all people?” asked Wangho, dumfound at the nonchalant response.

“No? How dumb do you think I am? The rest might not have noticed but I know my little Wangho well enough to know these things” demanded Kyungho with a feigned offense.

“But _I_ didn’t even know!”

“Wangho-ya, there are many things you don’t know,” Kyungho gave an exaggerated sigh, clearly making fun of him now. When he gave out a huff of annoyance, the toplaner laughed before continuing in a genuine voice. “I am really happy for you that it worked out. Make sure it doesn’t interfere with your performance though, alright? I want another great match with SKT.”

  “Just make sure you win against MVP then you can talk,” Wangho countered, feeling waves of gratitude towards the KT top-laner.

“I will and I will see you couple weeks later to crush you,” Kyungho replied smugly and hung up while Wangho laughed at his never-changing confidence. Just as he locked his phone, the door opened and he leaned back to see Sanghyeok entering his room.

“Who was that?” he asked, walking in and sitting with his legs akimbo on his bed.  

“Kyungho-hyung. We just caught up on some stuff,” he offered, putting his phone away and wheeled around on his chair to face Sanghyeok. “Where is everyone? It’s so quiet.”

“Junsik and Haneul’s still here. I don’t know where Seunghoon went,” he replied, patting the spot next to him on the bed and looked at him expectantly. “What did you guys talk about?”  

“Just things,” he stood up and sat down besides Sanghyeok. “About us actually…Hope you don’t mind.”

 “About us?”

“Yeah, that we are…you know. Shouldn’t I have?” he asked, glancing up at the midlaner, suddenly feeling unsure.

“It’s fine, I don’t mind,” he shrugged in reply before snaking his arms around his abdomen and pulling him into his chest. Before he could protest, he pulled both of them down onto the bed so that they were lying on their backs. His arms were trapped between him and Sanghyeok and his head fit comfortably just beneath the other’s chin. His heart began racing madly beneath his rib cage and he was glad that his arms were in between them because he would have been able to feel it thumping away for sure. He instantly tried to push away with his arms more out of instinct than anything else but the arms around his waist didn’t budge.

“H-hey, what if someone walks in?” he objected, only to be pulled down harder and have the breath forced out of his lungs with a little huff.

“Just five more minutes. Stay like this,” came the midlaner’s voice, muffled by his hair, sounding almost like a kid begging to stay in bed for a little while longer. And something in his voice made Wangho feel that rush of affection again and he relaxed his arms, letting his head rest on the other’s chest. His heart was still beating too loudly for his comfort and it took him a minute to realize that the heartbeat his hand was feeling wasn’t his. He absentmindedly spread his fingers on top of Sanghyeok’s chest, feeling his sternum and ribs. And just beneath his fingers, he could feel and hear so much clearly the midlaner’s heart beating away just as fast as his. A small chuckle escaped him, feeling a little embarrassed for the both of them, as he moved his head to rest his chin on the other’s chest. He smiled happily up at Sanghyeok, who tilted his head in confusion.

 “What is it?”

“Nothing,” he replied, feeling the other’s hand run through his hair near his nape. And just when Sanghyeok was about to respond, they heard Junsik’s voice call out and he jumped so hard that his head butted up painfully against the Sanghyeok’s chin.

“Wangho-ya~ Let’s go out for dinner,” came Junsik’s voice just before the door began to open and he pushed Sanghyeok off of him so fast that the other couldn’t stop the momentum and rolled off to the floor with a loud thud. He distantly heard the midlaner let out a groan at being thrown off the bed but his eyes were fixed on Junsik who glanced back and forth between them, very much perplexed. He could almost see the virtual question marks above his head.

“Y-yeah, let’s go out for dinner,” Wangho replied hastily and slid off his bed to stand in front of the ADC, hoping to distract him.

“What are you doing on the floor, Sanghyeok?” Junsik asked anyways, looking skeptically at the midlaner.

“Nothing…,” he groaned out, standing up and massaging his chin, giving a reproachful glance towards Wangho which he guiltily turned away from.

“Dinner it is, I’ll get my stuff, just wait for me outside,” he laughed out awkwardly, pushing the suspicious Junsik out his room. He walked towards his desk to grab his phone and wallet before turning onto Sanghyeok.

“I _told_ you someone might come in,” he hissed at him who was still standing in the same position.

“Well, I got my retribution, don’t you think?” he asked, raising an amused eyebrow at him and still rubbing his chin which was turning red. Wangho blushed and pointedly turned away as he began to laugh, throwing a half-hearted ‘shut up’ at the midlaner.

 

∞∞∞

 

After the near miss, they were both more careful. They didn’t talk about telling anybody about their relationship nor keeping it secret from everybody but it was wordlessly agreed in between them that the less people know, the better. They decided to take a break from the gaming house on the fourth day of their rest and made their way to that little café that they individually frequented. The baristas knew their faces and names by now (a couple in their mid-40s who always greeted them with a warm smile) and they took down their orders before they said anything. It was after dinner, nearing 9pm and he was content listening to music and watching Hearthstone clips on his phone while Sanghyeok read his book. They were sitting at the corner seat that Sanghyeok had once found Wangho sitting in way back before the practice started for the start of the Spring season. He yawned and stretched as another clip ended and rested his chin on the table, looking up at the Sanghyeok who was engrossed in his book. He was sitting with his legs crossed and the arm that was holding the book resting on his knee. He had a tiny crease between his eyebrows and Wangho couldn’t help but snicker and poke at that crease with his index finger. The midlaner gave a small jump at the sudden touch and looked down at him quizzically.

“You always get that little frown when you’re reading,” he informed, still chuckling at Sanghyeok’s expression, and poked once more at his forehead.

“I do?” he asked, an awkward smile pulling at his lips, as he felt his own forehead before he gingerly took Wangho’s raised hand. He nodded and wrapped his fingers around the midlaner’s hand and rested the entwined hands on the table, quite used to the more intimate touches that went back and forth between them. He hummed his content as Sanghyeok caressed the back of his hand with his icy thumb and closed his eyes, feeling more relaxed than he has in a long time.

“Hey, Wangho-ya,” he called his name and he nodded his acknowledgement, indicating he should continue.

 “Since when did you start liking me?”

His eyes flew open at the question and he jerked his head around to look at Sanghyeok, the corner of his lips pulled up slightly, obviously expecting an answer.

“Why do you ask?” he asked, his face heating up as he remembered way back when he freaked out over Sanghyeok just looking at him.

“Because I want to know”     

“….A lot longer than you’d think,” he replied as he glanced away, not ready to admit that he’s had feelings for him for years now. Sanghyeok didn’t respond and the silence was broken only with a quiet screech of a chair being pushed back. Wangho glanced up and saw Sanghyeok rising from his chair with his left hand on the table, supporting his upper body. He tilted his head in confusion and he only fully processed what was happening when the other leaned down and gently pressed his lips against his, his right hand using the book to cover their faces from any passerby. Both of their lips were chapped but so unlike his fingers, Sanghyeok’s lips were warm and soft and although it was a clumsy first kiss for both of them, he felt the warmth from his lips spread all the way down to his chest, filling him up with an indescribable feeling of happiness. It lasted only a couple of seconds and Sanghyeok sat back down and resumed his previous position.

“That just means I have a lot to make up for then,” he muttered from behind his book and after a beat, the two of them reddened at their own awkwardness. They sat in silence for another hour before they made their way back to the gaming house. Wangho was about to step into his room when Sanghyeok pulled him in for another chaste kiss and whispered a sweet ‘good night’ into his ears before walking off. He’d never admit it, but the whole night he lied on his side, curled around his pillow, his heart pounding and his face flushing every time he remembered the kiss, his lips still feeling warm from the touch.

 

∞∞∞

 

The peace, however, didn’t last long when they slipped up one day. It was the day after when Jaewan and Profit were back in the gaming house. Taking advantage of Sungu’s absence, Sanghyeok spent a lot of his time in Wangho’s room, rolling on his bed, reading a book or distracting him by poking at him while he was trying to play Hearthstone or Tekken on his laptop. Sanghyeok was particularly bored that night and kept poking at his side with his toes while lying on his bed when he was on his laptop, catching up with social media.

“Wangho, I’m bored.”

“Read something,” he offered, not taking his eyes off the computer screen.

“I’ve finished all of them,” he complained and let out a sigh of annoyance when he didn’t respond. He heard a rustle of movements behind him but jumped nonetheless when he felt Sanghyeok’s arm wrap around his shoulders from behind him, his head burying into the crook of his neck.

“Boooored, Wangho. Entertain me,” Sanghyeok whined, his voice tickling his neck and Wangho couldn’t help but laugh at the childish reaction. He patted the top of his head as he closed his computer, diverting his attention fully onto the midlaner.

 “What do you want to do,” he asked, leaning back into the other’s chest.

“Hmm…Play 1 vs. 1 with me? I’ll let you play Lee sin.”       

  “We already did and I crushed you like a bug~” he objected.

“That was because my Thunderlords didn’t proc!” Sanghyeok exclaimed and Wangho shook his head at the excuse that he’s heard a thousand times by now.

“What else?”

After a moment of silence, instead of replying, Sanghyeok pressed his lips against his neck and Wangho felt his heart skip a beat almost violently. The skin at his neck suddenly felt thousand fold more sensitive and he couldn’t hold back from shivering when the warm lips dragged up all the way to his jaw before nipping playfully at his ear. His hair tickled at his neck as Sanghyeok pulled away and his fingers grabbed his chin to turn his head towards him. He tilted his head forward and their lips met, the curves fitting just right. He leaned into the kiss, feeling the kind of want he’s never felt before welling up (because all those times the guys his age watched AV and porn magazines, he spent it all playing League and watching Sanghyeok), and he pulled the midlaner closer by tugging at his collar.          

This time, the voice came so suddenly, they didn’t even have time to pull away from each other. They whipped their heads towards the noise and saw Junsik and Jaewan standing behind a slightly opened door.

“Pay up Jaewan, I _told_ you!”

“Agh, damn it! This should be cheating, I was away for the first 5 days.”

In a reverse situation from the last time, it was Sanghyeok and Wangho glancing back and forth between the two duo-laners, silently begging for an explanation. Jaewan grumbled as he handed Junsik the green notes (quite the big amount, he noticed) and Junsik took it from his hand with a smug grin before turning back towards them.

“We made a bet,” he explained, pocketing the money, “On whether or not you guys were together. And clearly, the better man won.”

Jaewan shook his head at Junsik’s explanation but was grinning nonetheless at the situation. “I guess congratulations are in order.”

“You guys made a bet on us?” Sanghyeok cried out, stretching back up and looking at his friends incredulously.

“It was harmless,” Jaewan shrugged.

“That’s not the point!” the midlaner argued but Wangho drowned out all the noise when he buried his face into his hands, feeling ashamed and wanting to shrink down into nothingness at being caught in a less than favorable position. He peeked when he felt Sanghyeok’s hand being placed on his shoulder with a gentle squeeze.

“So when did this happen?” Junsik asked, beaming at the both of them like a proud father. Wangho looked up to see Sanghyeok smiling down at him with such a content smile and his heart ached (in a good and perfect way this time) when he realized it was the kind of smile that he has unknowingly yearned for years.

“Doesn’t matter. It happened and that’s what’s important,” he replied, shrugging. Junsik and Jaewan feigned disgust at the response and Sanghyeok just grinned abashedly. At that moment, he felt speechlessly lucky and buoyant, he grabbed the hand on his shoulder and smiled when Sanghyeok’s tightened his grasp, all the while continuing his argument with his longtime teammates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some cliché moments but I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist T^T
> 
> I'm going to try and upload once more this week so wish me luck!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I disappeared, I deserve to be crucified and condemned T^T I've decided to finish this fic at chapter 9, mostly because if i were to do a chapter 10, I feel like it would simply be too repetitive and I don't have the confidence to make it good. I'm sorry for those of you who were looking for more chapters T^T I may or may not add an epilogue after but right now I want to get started on another fic :)))

Junsik and Jaewan didn’t act any different after they found out. Other than teasing jokes here and there thrown mostly by Junsik, the days went by normally; they played games, went out for lunch or dinner, and Sanghyeok would come to his room at arbitrary moments just to laze around with a book or catch him unaware to pull him close. By the last day of the break, everybody was back in the gaming house and it was getting rowdy around late afternoon. Seunghoon came back last and everybody was gathered around either the kitchen or the living room, catching up and unpacking. Wangho was no exception and he sat perched on the arm of the couch, listening to Seunghoon expressing his 3-day family trip with his whole body. He was giggling at the top-laner’s exaggeration when he felt a nudge at his arm and he twisted around to see Sanghyeok standing behind him.

“Let’s go out.”

“Out? To where?”

“Just out,” he said, already pulling him off the couch. He quickly grabbed his wallet and his phone before he was virtually thrown out the door.

“What’s the hurry?” he grumbled, putting on his shoes properly in the elevator. Without answering, Sanghyeok just smiled and led him out the building to the nearby bus stop.

“Should I be scared?”  he asked, as they got on the bus, sitting down next to each other, “Is this kidnapping?”

"What would I do if I kidnapped you. We already live in the same place,” Sanghyeok replied, clearing his throat and did a little flick with his wrist that Wangho began to recognize as him being nervous. He looked at him curiously but when he only avoided his gaze, he sighed and sat back. Sanghyeok motioned him to get up after 3 stops and when he stepped out the sun was going down and he recognized the familiar plaza that was close to their gaming house.

“People can recognize you, you know,” he commented, looking around the plaza fairly crowded with people.

“They can recognize you too,” he replied as they began to walk towards the cluster of shops and into the crowd. “As long as we don’t do anything noticeable, we should be fine.”

Wangho hummed, still doubtful but followed him anyways. “So where are we going?” he asked, looking around and just realizing it’s been a while since he’s been outside a 500m radius of their gaming house.

“Let’s go get dinner first,” Sanghyeok replied and he mindlessly followed, feeling energized by the crowd and the lit up streets. Time went by quickly and he only grinned when Sanghyeok paid for the both of them without a word. Deciding to walk off the food (he probably ate his weight’s worth tonight), Wangho dragged his midlaner around, deciding to do the next two months’ worth of shopping tonight when he got the chance. He was surprised to say the least when he accompanied him without a complaint and was about to question it when Sanghyeok suddenly stopped in his tracks.

“Uh, um, excuse me, but are you Lee Sanghyeok-ssi and Han Wangho-ssi?”

Wangho looked up and saw a couple standing in front of them, the woman having been the one to voice the question. He looked back at Sanghyeok, unsure how to reply.

“Um, yes, we are,” Sanghyeok stuttered out, after sharing a glance with Wangho.  

“I’m sorry, but I just wanted to tell you that we’re your biggest fans,” the woman said enthusiastically, pointing at the man behind her who he assumed to be her boyfriend.

 “It’s no problem, thank you,” he replied, flattered but still not used to at being recognized randomly on the streets.

“Lee Sanghyeok-ssi, you’re not wearing your white shirt today. You look very handsome!” the self-proclaimed fan complimented, smiling widely.

“Ah, thank you,” Sanghyeok responded, giving an awkward grin and a bow.

“Please do well in the finals!” her (assumed) boyfriend cheered before they both bid their farewells and walked on past them. When the couple was out of earshot, Wangho only then realized what the female fan was referring to. He looked suspiciously at Sanghyeok and noticed with a quiet surprise that he wasn’t wearing his usual sweats, sneakers and white t-shirt combo. He had on his fitting blue jeans that he only ever rarely seen him wear in winter, a white Nike sneakers and loose white and dark green striped t-shirt. In fact, the only thing on him that wasn’t rare was his round, thin-rimmed glasses. He couldn’t help but admire how well-put he looked and he wanted nothing but to snap a photo to commemorate this.

“What’s up with today?” he asked, unable to hold in his curiosity.

“What is what with today?”

"You know, the whole spontaneously going outside, you paying for everything and this,” he said, gesturing vaguely at Sanghyeok.

“It’s a date.”

“Huh?” he snapped his head towards him at the unexpected answer.

“We never had a proper date,” Sanghyeok shrugged, pushing his hands deep into his pockets. “We’re going to get busy once practice starts again. We won’t have much time then.”

He stared at the midlaner, his chest feeling too full and too warm at his reply before a laughter escaped him.

“I didn’t know you’re such a romantic, hyung,” he remarked, snickering as Sanghyeok pointedly looked away. “You should’ve told me it was a date, it’s not fair that you got to dress up but I didn’t.”

“You’re the only one in our team who never looks trash in or outside the gaming house.”

He only laughed out louder at the midlaner’s roundabout compliment, feeling unreasonable excited. Always happy to not be the one to feel embarrassed (because it’s honestly unfair), Wangho linked his arm with Sanghyeok’s and pulled him towards an arcade he saw across the street. “Come on then, let’s continue, I had lots of things I wanted to do on a date. Besides, you’re paying for everything, right?”

 

∞∞∞

 

It was 9pm when they entered a café that was still full of people to rest before they started heading back. They got their orders and took a seat in the far corner out in the balcony. Wangho sighed out in relief as he slumped down onto the chair, glad to give his feet some rest after hours of abusing them. They silently enjoyed the cold breeze, sipping their drinks.

“Hey, hyung,” Wangho started, breaking the comfortable silence. “You know, before Seungung-hyung left, he might have implied that something was going to happen between you and I.”

"He did?” Sanghyeok asked, lifting his head up from the chair.

"Mhmm, I didn’t have a clue what he meant then though,” he replied, thinking back to how confused he was at the previous SKT jungler’s farewell message.

"You really had no idea?”

"Not one…,” he said, rummaging his brain through their past interactions.

"Maybe you are just dense,” Sanghyeok said, giving him a teasing smirk.

"Hyung shouldn’t be the one to say that!” he argued.

"Who said I didn’t know that you liked me before you told me?”

"Wait, what?!” he exclaimed, blushing but still outraged at the midlaner.

"Haha! I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I guess I had a vague idea at the end but there was no way I could be sure,” Sanghyeok laughed as he pouted. They fell once again into a comfortable silence and Wangho felt the itching urge to ask him about what happened between him and Seungung but couldn’t find courage to do so.

"What is it?” Sanghyeok asked, his eyes not moving from where he was observing the people on the street below them.

"What?”

"You keep glancing at me, I know you got something to say,” he replied, a knowing smile on his face.

"I’m really curious. About what happened between you and Seungungyi-hyung,” he asked tentatively, fiddling with his drink.

"What do you want to know?” Sanghyeok replied with a light tone that caught him off guard and had him look up curiously at him.

"You’re ok with talking about this?”

"I don’t have anything to hide from you,” he said, leaning onto the table. “Nor do I want to. So ask away.”

"Well…I know what happened. Kind of. I just wanted to hear it from you. And what really happened when Seungungyi-hyung came to visit.”

"Hmm…What Jaewan and Junsik told you covers it all. I was …18 or 19 then. I didn’t know how things were supposed to work. Because I was stupid, things got messy. It settled down a bit when he left for LPL because of the distance but I didn’t think anything changed. And then came this new jungler, called Peanut,” he said, glancing up at him with the corners of his lips twitching up as he started at the mention of his name. “I didn’t think much of it other than that he was a good jungler until I came back to the gaming house and the guy just stumbles onto me at the door, all drunk and talking about how big of a fan he is.”

"Ok, ok, ok, I know where this is going, please stop,” Wangho begged, burrowing his face into his hands, not willing to relive that embarrassing moment.

“You’re the one who asked,” he chortled, but stopped nonetheless and leaned back on his chair again. Wangho silently stared at him, feeling a wave of gratitude towards the midlaner.  

"Hyung, thanks for today.”

"For what?”

"Taking me out. I had more fun today than I remember having in a long time,” he said smiling at him, brushing his fingers against Sanghyeok’s that was wrapped around his drink.

"Next time’s your treat,” he replied, smirking up at him playfully, letting go of his drink to cover Wangho’s hand with his.

 

∞∞∞

 

As Sanghyeok prophesied, the moment Monday began, the tight schedule for the Spring finals left little time for them to be together let alone have time for themselves. They spent hours scrimming, looking over past KT games and analyzing their pick and bans and going over their own pick and ban plans. They still got their ‘break’ after 11pm but most of it was spent playing solo-que in the practice room and Wangho was satisfied having that time to relax with Sanghyeok and the rest of SKT. But even the pressure of the upcoming final didn’t stop any of his teammates from being a destructive force at the hands of the unpredictable solo-que and today was no exception.

He was in the same game as Junsik in the same side as luck would have it and he grinned when the ADC howled at another failing team fight and saw Sanghyeok jump in seat next to him at the sound through the corner of his eyes.

"Wangho-ya~!!!!! Save me, save me!,” cried Junsik, running away from the opposing team’s Kassadin, dangerously low on HP.

"Hyung! Hyung, what’s happening to your Varus,” he questioned, laughing as he saw Kassadin land the last hit and heard Junsik mesh his forehead against the keyboard.

"It’s because of the Jungle gap,” Junsik complained, “Our jungler didn’t come in to gank.”

"Ah, hyung, you have to admit that this is a toplaner-gap,” he said, craning his head back to look at Junsik. He was surprised to see that the practice room was empty, save for the three of them. “Where’s everyone?”

"They went out to grab something to eat,” informed Sanghyeok, standing up to stretch out, still waiting for his que.

"Hyung, should we surrender?” he asked, as he watched another turret being taken down.

"No, we can win this, Wangho-ya,” Junsik urged, guffawing at his own denial.

"Ah, Hyung!” he exclaimed, laughing out as Junsik died his 5th death.

"Junsik-ah, I think you should surrender,” Sanghyeok said, amused, as he leaned over from the back of Wangho’s chair to look at his screen.

"Hyuuuung, do something,” he whined, sliding down his chair as he died as well. He heard Sanghyeok chuckle from above him and reached down to ruffle his hair. The hand slid down to pinch at his cheek and he winced, rubbing at his reddened cheek and grabbed at Sanghyeok’s hand before he could do it again. He glanced up reproachfully at Sanghyeok which only earned him a smile. As he waited to respawn and the surrender to come up, the midlaner moved to perch himself opposite Wangho on the empty spot just between his and Wangho’s PC and delicately held his wrist, his index finger pressing against his pulse. He felt him draw his wrist closer and jolted slightly when he felt the warm lips press on the inside of his wrist experimentally. His heart skipped a bit when he saw the midlaner linger as if trying to feel his pulse through his lips.

"Ah, I think I’m about to retch, get a freaking room,” Junsik gagged and the two of them jumped apart, completely having forgotten that they weren’t alone. Wangho blushed, stuttering out incomprehensible excuses as Sanghyeok cleared his throat and looked at anywhere but Junsik. At that moment, a clatter of footsteps neared and the rest of SKT walked back into the practice room.

"Sungu-ya, help me cleanse my eyes,” Junsik groaned, sliding on his chair towards Sungu who just walked into the room, looking perplexed.

"What happened?” he asked, looking around the room to search for the source of Junsik’s lament.

"MY EYES!” Junsik wailed and buried his face into Sungu’s back.

"Did you guys bring anything back?” Wangho stood up and hurriedly changed the topic, his face still feeling hot, trying to shut out Junsik’s wailing that could still be heard muffled by Sungu’s shirt.

 

∞∞∞

 

It was the second night before the day of the finals against KT. He and Haneul had come back to gaming house relatively early after their practice ended and they were both relaxing on the couch with the TV turned on to the OGN channel after showering. Haneul being the affectionate person he was had his head on his lap, tapping away at his phone. He was quite used to this sort of physical interaction with Haneul like every other SKT members and he didn’t pay much attention to it. He was watching the quarterfinals match that was re-airing and he barely heard the front door open and the shuffling footsteps entering the living room.

"You guys came back early?” The unexpected voice startled Wangho and he looked away from the screen to see Sanghyeok taking his jacket off while walking into the living room.

"You’re back too?” Haneul responded, lifting his head off of his lap to look at the midlaner.

"Yeah,” Sanghyeok replied, glancing at the two of them before making his way to the bathroom. By the time he came back out, Haneul and he were both actively watching the quarterfinals, making comments and calls with the substitute midlaner still using his thigh as a pillow. Sanghyeok walked towards the couch with a towel around his neck, his hair still dripping with water. He stood in front of the couch and Wangho looked up when he made no move to either sit down or move away. Before he could ask what he was up to, Sanghyeok toed at Haneul’s leg, motioning him to scooch down the couch.

"Sit somewhere else!” Haneul complained, pulling his legs in to protect them from further prodding. But Sanghyeok started poking at his stomach with his feet and Haneul whined before sitting up and crawling away from Wangho and further down the couch. The midlaner plopped himself down between them without a word, close enough for their arms and legs to touch and Wangho watched the whole ordeal wordlessly, a smile playing at his lips. He nudged at him with his elbow and when Sanghyeok refused to look at him, he had to hold in a laughter at the midlaner’s silent possessiveness that was rather endearing. He hooked his arm around Sanghyeok’s and linked their hands and hid it between their legs, out of Haneul’s view. He relaxed into the now familiar warmth of, watching the rest of the match nodding off on the midlaner’s shoulder.

When he came to his senses, the semifinal match started re-airing and Haneul had gone to his room. He yawned and stretched out his back, moving away from Sanghyeok in the process.

“Had a nice nap?”

“Mm,” he groaned, his backbone cracking and eyes watering from the huge yawn. “I’m going to go wash up,” he said before he drowsily got up and made his way to the bathroom. He heard a faint reply before he shut the door, stripped off his clothes and doused himself in the shower. He sighed out, trying to massage out the stiff shoulders. He only got out when he started feeling light-headed from all the steam and hot water. He rubbed at his hair with a towel as he walked out and saw Sanghyeok still sitting on the couch, distracted by his phone. He had his legs up on the couch and biting away at his lips. He tread softly towards him, hoping to catch him off guard and when he got close enough, he threw himself at him and pushed both of them into the couch. He heard him have his breath pushed out of him with a little ‘humph’ by his weight. Wangho reached up to play with his hair, feeling soft and still a little damp from the shower. Sanghyeok adjusted his position from beneath him, uncurling his legs and putting his phone down to wrap his arms around his waist.

"You smell nice,” Sanghyeok commented, one of his hands traveling up to pet at his head. He hummed his answer, resting his cheek against the bony chest, feeling his body warmth seeping through the thin shirt. He felt the arm around his waist tighten and he sucked in a breath when the cold hand touched at the bare skin where his shirt rode up. The finger pads pressed against his exposed hip bones but didn’t move any further up or down. The house was quiet enough for him to hear Sanghyeok’s steady breathing and he started feeling languid as they stayed still and silent.  The rhythm of his heart beat slowly had him drifting off to sleep and when he woke up, it was the next morning and he was in his bed with the covered pulled over him.

 

∞∞∞

 

The day of the finals, they arrived at the stadium early to practice the intro. Sanghyeok was in the spotlight of course with his throne and with the rest of the SKT (including him) heckling in the background just to see him shift about abashedly. Few hours after rehearsal, when they were waiting to get on stage in front of the audience, his mouth started feeling dry.

"Hey, are you nervous?” Sanghyeok whispered close to his ears from beside him, the music almost drowning out his voice. He nodded and he felt the thin fingers wrap around his wrist in a steady grip. “We’re going to win.” And he sounded so sure, so certain saying that, he couldn’t help but feel reassured and walked into the roaring crowd a minute later, feeling confident.

 

∞∞∞

 

The moment they cracked down the final nexus, he whipped his head towards his left and he felt like he was about to burst when he saw Sanghyeok grinning at him with elation and all he could think was ‘ _we did it_ ’ as the deafening cheer of the stadium finally reached his ears.

 

∞∞∞

 

He was high on adrenaline throughout the ending ceremony and all the way to the restaurant where their team and their family was supposed to have a team dinner. His cheeks ached from smiling too big for far too long but another smile still crept up when Sanghyeok walked into the restaurant and met his eyes. He was stopped several times by family members and SKT and OGN related personnel on his way to the table before he finally sat himself down besides Wangho. They didn’t say a word to each other but he felt the midlaner lean against his shoulder and the comforting touch was all the affirmation he needed.

The dinner progressed smoothly, Junsik and Seunghoon causing a raucous with a bit of alcohol in them. All the food has been served and everyone was involved deep in a conversation with about one third of their group having left already. Wangho leaned back in his chair, feeling too full and just a bit drained. He looked up when he heard the chair next to him screech and he saw Sanghyeok getting out of his chair. When their eyes met, he nodded towards the balcony that was on the opposite side of their table and raised his eyebrow in a silent question. Wangho got up and followed the midlaner out to the balcony and breathed out a sigh of relief when the refreshing night breeze greeted them.  

"So, how’s winning the finals?” Sanghyeok asked after a moment of silence, facing the inside of the restaurant with his elbows resting on the railing.

"You know I did win a LCK finals before.”

"You didn’t with me,” he replied with a playful smile. Wangho shook his head at the response but a smile escaped him anyways.

"It was the best finals I had,” he answered, placing his elbows on the railings and looking out into the empty street below them.

"It was the best finals I had as well.”

"Lies! I saw your face when you won the 2015 worlds,” he retorted, pointing an accusing finger at the midlaner.

"Yeah, but it was without you,” he responded with a nonchalant shrug. Wangho dropped his head to hide the blush that he knew was spreading on his cheeks.

"You have to stop with those embarrassing one-liners,” he mumbled. Sanghyeok paid no heed and turned around to assume the same position as his jungler, their shoulders pressing close.

“It’s better than my dad jokes and puns though, right?”

Wangho laughed out at the rhetorical question and felt the chapped lips press a kiss against his temple. Despite his face reddening even further, he linked his fingers with Sanghyeok’s and smiled feeling more content than he ever had when he felt the other tightening their hold.

 

"I like you.”

"I know.”

"

"...I like you too.”


End file.
